Monday, 18 April 2016

Appreciation

If you expect people to be nice, you should be nice. 

Similarly, if you love the fact that people are being appreciative towards you, than you equally should show some appreciation to people.

Appreciation doesn't just come in words. One can say all the sweet nothing, repetitively. However, if in reality the action is just other wise, the words do not mean anything. Nothing. Zilch.

Remember that action speaks louder than words. Your effort means so much more than your words. 

Know that your effort in knowing, effort in showing interest, effort in taking time to text, effort in trying to understand, and effort in explaining mean so much more than your words of saying: 

"I appreciate you."  

or

"I love you."

Saturday, 9 April 2016

Gone Girl

I like to think myself as a happy person. I rarely bother of how people think of me. I wear cheap clothes, i wear same things for a long time. I talk a lot, i laugh a lot. Some may say I'm annoying but i just don't stop being what I am.

However, lately I am becoming more and more negative. I may appear positive and happy in front of some people, but the truth is, i cry just as much as i laugh nowadays. Not that i would admit it publicly though.

To those who see me spacing out out or having a sudden mood change, just bare with me. I'm complicated. I have so much unsettle issues, mostly with my own inner thoughts.

I get depress when i expect something out ot a confrontation but i receive something totally different in return. I can't get angry all the time, so i just have to live with the thing i don't quite like i guess.

Though 'living with it' simply means i get deeper and deeper into depression. Yeah, i guess that cheerful side of me is slowly disappearing. Coz plastering a smile is sometimes tiring.

Saturday, 26 March 2016

The One That Listens

Maybe it's the heat wave. I find myself being overly sensitive in every issue. But i keep it within myself as i can't find anyone suitable to talk to.

Sometimes i miss my girlfriends. I miss having my girls around so that i can talk freely without being ashamed of being my cacat self. Without having to cover up any stories. Nothing is unsuitable when i talk to them.

However, it struck me one day that i depend too much on people. I find myself looking for someone to listen to my stories, when i realised that The One has always been here, waiting for me to pour my heart out. To tell and to cry over anything when i need something.

I have been so engrossed with the world that sometimes i forget the hereafter. I easily forget the reason why i am here in this world at the first place.

Oh Allah please forgive me. :(

Sometimes the real reason we feel empty is because we are so far away from our Creator. It's never too late to realise something. And it's never too early to change for the better.

To a better us, InsyaAllah.

Monday, 29 February 2016

Who cares

It is totally up to me to write whatever i want to in this corner.

It is up to me to feel pissed or angry to whomever i want to. It is definitely up to me to confront people or to just bottle things up.

It is also  up to me to let people understand me or to let people wonder what the heck is wrong with me.

It is up to you though, to read or to abandon this post.

It is not up to me to change anyone's mind on something.

And it is never up to me to make people care about my feelings or my thinking. 

Monday, 1 February 2016

Bizarre audition experience

I don't know where I got the strength or the bravery to go to yet another audition. Yes, another one. *crazy*

This time I went with my ex colleague, Nunu, because we have our own private bucket list to tick off (#ipvolusibucketlist). Only the 2 of us managed to go but it was good enough to have someone to do crazy things together. :)

So on that eventful Saturday, we registered ourselves for the audition at Sri Pentas around 12.20 pm. As time passed, I knew for a fact that we would have to wait for a long time, so Nunu and I decided to have our lunch at the cafetaria. I asked the girl at the registration counter which batch we were in. 10th batch she said, and batch 8 just got called right before that. Each batch takes roughly 30 minutes before the next batch would be called up. 

20 people from each batch, and everyone was supposed to take a written test as the 1st stage of the audition. Glad we asked or else we had to wait hungrily for more than an hour. Anyway, a bit before 2pm Nunu and I got back to the registration waiting room, and not long after that our names were called to take the written test.

It was interesting because it was somewhat a big audition, hence cameras were literally everywhere to capture good moments of the audition. Nunu and I went there for fun and we were being our crazy selves chit chatting away about all our weird possible turn outs from the audition, so it felt a bit funny when we saw some people who looked quite serious and really focused while waiting for their names to be called.


Right after we registered ourselves.

Anyway, after our own names were called, we were asked to proceed to the 1st floor. The 20 of us went to one of the meeting rooms in the Priwework Studio and we were given 3 sheets of paper each. The questions include history, geography, general knowledge, IQ test and mathematics. At 2.10 pm we started answering and we were given 15 minutes to answer all the subjective questions. When the time was up, the person in charge collected our papers and told us that we had to wait around 15 minutes for the announcement, whether we made it for the first stage or not. 


While waiting for our results.

While waiting, we took the opportunity to know each other. We introduced our names, age and our profession. Most of the girls are so relaxed and friendly. I felt at ease already with them. It lasted for just a few minutes. Around 2.40 pm, one guy came in and called the names that scored more than 15. Only 3 out of the 20 got through it, and alhamdulillah, I was one of them. Hehe... Honestly, I was super excited to continue with the audition. :P

After the other 17 people made their move out of the room, the 3 of us were briefed on the things that we had to do. Basically he was saying about the contract that we had to sign. He then transferred us again to another waiting room not too far from our original room, where we met a few other people who passed the 1st stage from the previous batches. Lovely and confident ladies they all are I must say. They got their audition numbers and left the 3 of us again in the waiting room, where we read the long list of contract, about the dos and don'ts. Phew... Seriously, that was one long contract.

A few minutes later, a few other people from next batches came in and joined the 3 of us. Again we introduced ourselves and undoubtedly the girls who got through the first stage were not just anyone. They have the brains and most of them are really confident of themselves. Just by talking with to them I can see how much they really want to get through this audition and be a part of the show. Pretty amazing, huh? And there I was, being there for the sake of taking up the challenge and ticking off our private list. *sorry*

We had to wait in that room for more than an hour. Due to the long wait my head started to feel a bit heavy and I couldn't sit still. I had panadols in my handbag and I really wanted to swallow them but I didn't have any drinks with me. I made my way to the surau and prayed Zohor trying to ease the headache. But after coming down again, still nothing happened and I was getting a bit restless. On one of the bean bags I was already sitting uncomfortably and couldn't care less how I looked like. (Despite knowing cameras might suddenly appear without warning from outside the glassed room).

Thank God a few minutes later one of the persons in charge came in and gave out our audition numbers. My lucky number was 6046. (The first digit i.e. 6 means the 6th day of the audition, 46 means the 46th person to be interviewed for the day). We had to stick the number on our chest and we were escorted outside the room to another open area in front of the lift to wait for our respective turns. That is actually the same place where I had waited during my first ever audition a month ago.  


Not feeling well. Just wanted to get it done and over with.

While waiting, my head was throbbing hard and I felt like vomiting. At that particular moment I just wanted to buy a drink and get the pain killer. As I knew there were still 9 people before my turn, I asked a few of the girls to join me to go to the cafetaria. After a very looong while, I finally managed to take the panadol. But even after consuming it, the dizziness wouldn't go away. The girls actually were concerned, asking if I was alright and if I have had any history of collapsing anywhere previously. I reassured them that nothing as such has ever happened. I think I must have looked so pale and not well. 

After the girls had finished eating, I excused myself to the toilet. There, I just couldn't control myself. I vomited. A lot. I am quite sure everything I swallowed during the lunch time was thrown out. I made up my mind that if I didn't get better, I would leave and go home straightaway. I gave myself a few minutes and I touched up a bit my face. I felt better after throwing up. My head felt lighter so I decided to continue the journey.

When I went up to the waiting area, there were still 7 people to go before my turn. So what I did was to go to the surau and set my alarm clock. Yes, I took a power nap. Just what I needed. After 15 minutes of sleep I woke up and took my ablution and prayed Asar.

Alhamdulillah, I felt sooo much better after that. When I went back to the waiting area, there were just another 3 people before my turn. At that time I felt relaxed and I was myself again. All talkative and making jokes with the girls again. We took photos together and talked with other girls who already passed their auditions. Quite an awesome group of people I must say. Very supportive towards each other that it made me feel all okay again.


With some of the lovely ladies.

When they called my name, it was already past 6pm. I entered the room with a clip mic glued to the back of my audition number. Also like my previous audition, there was a camera rolling. The audition went well alhamdulillah. I just had to introduce myself and answered a few questions by the juries. And of course I had to answer why I went for the audition. I didn't know where I got that inspiration to answer the question but alhamdulillah I think I answered well enough. Hahaha!

Sooo... the turn out from my audition? Alhamdulillah I got through it. :) Despite the vomit and all. I was given the golden ticket!! But I guess my journey would just be up till there because they still have to shortlist the girls who also got the golden tickets into 28 people. 

If I get it, I would be super surprised. 


THE Golden Ticket! I told the juries that I wanted to represent Selangor because I had no contribution to Johor, although I was born in JB.

Anyway, it was such a VALUABLE experience I must say. Trying out for these things somehow make me see how others perceive something and how far people will actually go to achieve their dreams. Most of the girls I met there were really serious about entering and to be one out of the 14 finalists. I am impressed by their determination, seriously I do.

Oh, another interesting turn out is that, one part of my audition was actually included in the Melodi yesterday. Gosh how funny. Even for that short 1 second manyyy of my friends actually saw me on TV. 

Ha ha ha ha



As I missed the Melodi yesterday, I watched it at tonton instead. :P

Okay, let's just wait till next week. If there's no phone calls whatsoever, I will just move on. :D

Tuesday, 19 January 2016

India is more than just Taj Mahal

It is true when people say India is different from other countries. 

A few days back I went to India for a conference and took the opportunity to travel around a bit. I had been talking about going to India for quite some time already, so I was super excited when my boss finally  agreed to bring me along for the conference.

So the conference was from 7th to 9th January 2016. As the schedule was quite packed, we only had the chance to go out on the final day of the conference around 7pm for dinner at Saket Slect City Walk. Got the chance to go 'missing' for awhile with Munirah to buy our sweater before the other 4 guys were relieved to see us safe and sound, looking happy with our catch of the night. Seriously, sorry guys for leaving without letting you know where we were heading to. *I even got a proper warning from my boss for not roaming my phone as it was dangerous, especially during emergency time.(>.< ")*

5 from Malaysia, 1 from Mauritius Guess what? We were seated on the stage as no other tables were available. :) 

Showing off some dusty skill. Can you see what I was holding?

6 of us with 4 Hard Rock Cafe staff. They must have liked us that much to ask to take photo with us. :D *This is before Munirah and I went 'missing'*

Anyway, on the 10th of January, me, my boss,Munirah and Alwi checked out from our hotel. Our driver, Bansi, picked us up at the hotel and that's when our real journey started. 

If you are looking for a leisure trip, India might not at all be suitable for you. However, if you are up for an adventure, and to see how magical and different one country can be, then India is definitely a place you should visit. India is a colourful country, never quiet, never boring and definitely full of life.

During the trip, I saw a lot of eye opening events: 

Some people are living on the streets, but they can still live happily. 

I saw small kids who roam around the streets waving to us, and they probably have some of the most sincere smiles I have ever seen. 

The roads in India are so unsystematic, but much to my surprise, there was not even one accident that caused death. Even minor accidents are very very rare in India. You should see how they drive there. With the honks are heard almost every other second, people crossing the roads like they are made of steel, and many different animals walking/sleeping on the road as if they are in the jungle, I just didn't see any accidents when I was there. Seriously... it is like a miracle.

I remember our first tour guide in Delhi, Vikee, said:
"To drive in India, you don't need to have any experience or a license. You only need 3 things:
Good horn.
Good brakes.
Good luck,"

Gosh, how we laughed so hard when he heard that. But as days passed by, I figured that it is somehow very true.................

Anyway, we went for the golden triangle trip. From Delhi to Agra, thereon to Jaipur, and finally back to Delhi again. India has so many historical places to visit and of course, one of the 7 wonders of the world is in India. It is no other than the Taj Mahal. 

At first I thought seeing Taj Mahal was the only thing I was keen to see. But I was wrong because India is more than just Taj Mahal. The forts and castles in India are magnificent. The life itself in India is full of energy. The bazaar and the food also, are amongst the things that people should not leave without.

I guess I have done most of the things there which I had been wanting to do and see. We took the horse ride to Taj Mahal, rode on the elephant to Amer Fort, we were wearing Indian traditional clothes while we were there in India, I played with the elephants and cobra, we ate a variety of Indian food, Munirah and I tried the ayurveda spa, we most definitely haggled at the bazaar, we got to cross the roads just like how the locals do it ....and.... the thing I never thought I did: 

Was to dance in saree. ^___^

Seriously, to me it was the ultimate. To be fair, I did think of doing it, but I never thought I could. So I guess this is just another thing I can tick off my bucket list. Weheww! I have somehow stepped out of my own comfort zone. IN INDIA! :)

Yep, how can anyone not agree. India is just amazing. Let the pictures tell you some of our amazing experience there. 



 Chandni Chowk, Delhi

Qutb Minar, Delhi

The Taj Mahal,Agra

On our tanga ride (horse ride) to Taj Mahal. 

The horse ride :)


Maharaja. Hahahah! He was almost forced into buying the turban before our elephant ride.

Our elephant ride to Amer Fort, Jaipur.


 Amer Fort, overlooking the lake. Yeah, quite hazy... The air in India is kinda poluted now, but we were lucky that the days have been sunny all the way. :)


 
The weird looking tourist in Amer Fort. ^_^


 One shot from far. :D


 Le boss almost got knocked down by the tame cow. :P 

Chandpole Bazar, Jaipur (?) Too tired to even try to look at all the stuff. And I almost ran out of cash at this time... blegh....


The highlight of my trip. The dance. Didn't get it on my phone, so I had to snap the pic from my camera... hahaha

Something that I didn't plan to do. But the cobra was too cute to resist. Seriously.

And.... the baby elephant, Montash, is just too adorable!

Oh, there is just another thing I wanted to do but I didn't get the chance yet. I haven't been on the tuktuk! Oh well, I guess that just gives more reason to visit the Incredible India once again.

With a certain someone probably this time? ;) 

The tuk tuk.

Thursday, 31 December 2015

#2015bestnine

#2015bestnine

Oh well, just thought of joining in the crowd coz I was rather intrigued to see which pictures the app would choose. As expected, pictures from Mekah and Madinah would be in. :P

2015 has been a bit different from previous years. I don't think I have made that many new friends this year, but alhamdulillah, interesting happenings that are important enough for my years to come have taken place. Quite a lot i must say. :)

These 9 pictures only reflect a little part of my life in 2015. Not even one tenth of them. 2015 is a turning point for my future, my career and life as a whole. I am looking forward to 2016  with much hope and wishing that 2016 will be as great. If not, greater, insyaAllah

With that 2015, I bid you farewell. 

^_^

Tuesday, 29 December 2015

Sabar & Syukur

There is one thing i know for sure that i am not:
 A patient person. 

My parents always remind me to always be more patient in any situation. I get angry, agitated and sometimes hurt easily that i tend to raise my voice when such situation takes place. Though when i try to control my anger and my voice, it somehow becomes shaky and i start crying.

What i seriously want to be in years to come, is to be a more patient person. To be less temperamental and to be more sensible.

Anyway, i just wanna share something which i think is quite valuable. Each time i almost lose my patience, i will try to remember what a good-hearted friend of mine once told me:
"Sis, jika kita fikir sifat sabar itu adalah sifat terpuji yang pertama, kita silap kerana sifat syukur itu adalah pertama."

He said that when we have syukur in our heart, we can easily have sabar. Because when we are grateful for a certain situation, the feeling overwhelms the regretful feeling or anger that we have inside our heart.

For instance, if we can't go out of the house due to a flat tyre, we should be grateful that the tyre doesn't blow in the middle of nowhere when we are driving. Or if the food that we order tastes aweful, we shouldn't get angry instantly but instead, we should be grateful that we have money to spend outside compared to others who can't even afford a glass of plain water.

In any circumstances, always try to look for something good in everything. Being thankful is always better than complaining about something. 

Bersyukurlah sentiasa. Semoga dengan itu kesabaran akan turut hadir sentiasa. 

InsyaAllah...

Tuesday, 22 December 2015

Fulfilling a childhood dream (in a way)

Oh my God. Please tell me what I am doing here....

As I walked out of the lift, I saw around 20 people were sitting patiently at the seats provided. There was a table for registration, and I made my way to write down my name and IC number.The person in charge passed me a sticker with number 29 written on it, and I stuck it on my shawl. There. As simple as that, I was registered for an audition.

Asking why I was trying out for this audition?
Here's why: I just wanted to do something a bit different and challenge myself for weird things that I have never imagined doing.

I actually have a private things-to-do list, that I would like to do before I actually.. hurm.. well.. die maybe? Trying out for an audition is one of those things. Of course I had once dreamt of becoming an actress or anything that relates to be on TV, but I think I have stopped dreaming because being a realist is so much easier. I figured that I have a job that I enjoy, I have my family around, and people who I love to keep me happy and that's enough.

So that's what I thought. However, after reading or listening to inspiring stories, I just can't help thinking that I should once in a while try to get out of my own comfort zone. 

I just finished rereading a book that I enjoyed so much. It's about a writer who had a writer's block and was encouraged by her editor to take a holiday to take her mind off everything and start afresh. Little did she know that she was bound to encounter countless happenings that lead her out of her own comfort zone.

I believe that life gets pretty flat and boring if we only do the same routine and we are afraid to get out of the circle. Doing something different as simple as trying out a new fashion or taking a new route to work can really make us feel more positive. Planning it ahead somehow makes us feel more excited and look forward for a brand new day.

Now that I have started working, I realise that there is not much impromptu things I have done compared to my student days. I used to just jump on random trains to go to places which I wasn't really sure of, bought bus or flight tickets on impulse to visit friends or family, or even walk aimlessly to unfamiliar areas just to take my mind off the stress.

Nowadays to destress, I prefer to go for body massage which of course, costs quite a lot. I can't simply take a trip to anywhere like those days as I have responsibility towards my job and I don't have that many days off anyway. Oh well,it is still not a good excuse for me not to do something crazy.

So, coming back to my audition story, I actually went through it. ALONE. Was planning to go with my colleagues but they had something else to do as it was planned at the very last minute. And yeah,I didn't do any homework, I just brought along my CV and some photocopied certificates which I already had in my room from my previous interview session.

At one point, I really wanted to make a u-turn and just leave without even going through it. But as I have waited for about 5 hours, I figured that it was only smart if I proceed with the crazy idea. I was just there to tick my list anyway, not to be called for real. :D

My partner was nice enough to give me a call to soothe my nerves a bit before my turn. At that time I just couldn't believe I was about to go for an audition. I didn't have any appetite, I felt like throwing up and my head was spinning. At least with him calling, I could put my mind off the audition. (Thanks for calling! :*)

Actually, I am glad I did it. It was one of my most refreshing acts for the past few years. I could say that it was such a nice experience to see how Sri Pentas actually looks from the inside. I could say that I have been to the cafetaria, washrooms, surau, and the primeworks studios. The people inside the audition room were surprisingly friendly and they instantly made me feel welcomed. They didn't know me yet they wished me luck. Some even gave some tips for the audition. Thanks so much!

 While waiting for my turn :D

The part which I enjoyed so much was of course, when I had to start talking while looking into the camera. Having the camera rolling with a boom mic hanging in the room, I felt like somehow my dream as a young girl has already accomplished.

I am an engineer by education, hence I didn't care what the turn out would be like. Of course as a now-realist, *ehem* I know people with mass comm background will have the advantage. Plus, I was there to fulfill my list. Having those things in my mind, I just performed like how I always am. Just being myself, and no expectations whatsoever. It's somehow a good platform to boost my confidence level.

So,yeah... such a good experience it was. If you are wondering what audition it was, it's an audition to be a host in a popular TV show in TV9. Have a guess? :P


Presenting, one of the contestants.. :D

Monday, 21 December 2015

Right on target

When i am keeping quiet on certain issues, it doesn't necessarily mean i agree with it. It might be because i just hate saying the wrong things. I know that giving my opinion can't simply change one's perception on something, so waiting for a certain eye-opening incident might be worth it.

Seriously i hate portraying myself as a demanding, self - centered, controlling person. Hence, when i am not in agreement, i just avoid talking about that particular topic to avoid any awkwardness. 

As a person with certain experience, i think i am capable of reading certain situations. Not that i usually make announcements of my own assessment, but when it is right on target, i just remind myself not to add salt to anyone's injury. 

To be on the safe side, always remember to try to be the better person. 

Just some random thoughts. Comments are not welcomed.