Wednesday, 7 November 2018

My Amar, Mi Amor

*Long post alert!*

Here I am, around 5 months after my previous post, writing again at this once favourite spot of mine. While typing away, my precious little baby boy is sleeping cosily under my blanket, waiting for the right moment to scream at the top of his voice, asking for milk. Oh well, how can I blame him? At 38 days old, nothing else excites him apart from milk.

Yes readers. ( If I even have any...) I am now a mother! Alhamdulillah, on the 1st of October 2018, I had delivered a miracle I call Amar. He is now a new addition to the noisy Suriyadis household. I can't be thankful enough to Allah to be given this opportunity to become a mother.

I remember when I was a teenager, my friends and I had this not so serious conversation about marriage. We asked each other about the age that we thought was right for us to get married. I simply plucked a number, which was 27. Alhamdulillah, I got married last 2 years and at that time I was still at the age of 27. And to be honest, to become a mother before 30 was also one of my targets, though I seriously didn't feel pressured to get pregnant that soon after getting married. But Alhamdulillah, Allah's plans are always the best. I indeed became a mother before 30! :)

To me, in becoming a mother, I have to go through 3 different stages.

1) The pregnancy.

At this stage, I thought I had it bad because I was feeling unwell throughout my first trimester. I vomited so frequently that I lost a few kilos during the early stage of my pregnancy. I remember being warned by the nurses to increase my intake to ensure a proper weight gain. Oh wow, never have I thought to ever be told "to eat a lot more" in my life. But Alhamdulillah, as the second trimester approached, my appetite came back and the whole journey from there got better. (I even managed to fast the whole of Ramadan, Alhamdulilah!)

I consider myself lucky as my stamina during the last 2 semesters was rather good and I did not have any complications throughout the pregnancy. The funny thing is that, many people were not even aware that I was pregnant! (BIG clothes really help in hiding that tummy!) Not that I was trying to hide it from anyone, but I simply felt uncomfortable wearing any tight clothings that would result in people staring at my way. Anyway, all in all, my pregnancy experience was just how I wished it be, i.e. to always be healthy. :)

2 days before the delivery. The picture that I look most pregnant. :P

2) The delivery

My estimated delivery date was actually 6th October 2018. However, as my baby was eager to see the world a bit ealier, my water broke on the 30th September (after Asar). But the naive me thought it was just some discharge and I decided to still go out for dinner at Paparich with le hubby and parents that night (please don't give me any judgemental stare). Luckily I decided to ask for MC as there's a show the morning after. As the doctor did some testing, it was confirmed that my water already broke and I was told to rush to the hospital as it would be dangerous if the amniotic fluid goes lower than a certain reading.

My delivery story is one interesting one (at least for me), but I think I will save it for another day. To cut it short, I was induced, and everything went so quickly that I really believe that when I was given the epidural, it was a bit toooo late. I am pretty sure that I could have delivered the baby the particular moment I was given the epidural as the contraction was already soo soo strong. (Oh the contraction. Never did I imagine it was as painful as that. *safe to say that it was one of the most painful feeling ever in the whole world*)

The moment my baby was delivered, all the pain literally went away and I felt... so.. SLIM again.. HAHAHAH! But seriously, I mean there is no more heartburn and eating is now 10 times more heavenly!

Amar, after his first shower

All this while, I have only listened to people's labour stories. And the one I have probably heard for at least a hundred times, is my mother's life-and-death experience of delivering yours truly. Now, I have a story of my own that I can share. The one that will always be in my heart (and mind), insyaAllah!

3) The motherhood

I skip the pantang stage because I do not really do pantang like how most Malays do. But, I could say, my confinement lady was awesome. She helped me during the first 3 weeks and now I am taking care of my son full time. (read: with the help of my ever helpful hubby, parents, and siblings)

Amar at 1 month old

This stage to me, is by far, the hardest. Maybe because this is indeed an ongoing phase i.e.: till the day I die. And moreover, this is the phase that I am currently going through. But honestly, this journey is an emotional journey for me. It is a mixture of happy and depressing moments. Happy as I am able to see my son growing up day by day. And depressing as I sometimes fail to provide what I have planned to provide. But I know, raising up a child is not a straightforward thing. We may have all the theories at our fingertips, but executing it is just another story.

I just feel that I should learn one thing at a time and just do not pressurise myself with expectations which are just too hard to achieve. Getting tips from people is good, but it does not mean I should take it and implement it because I believe each person has different challenges and everyone has just to adapt accordingly and learn from there.

As for now, I only hope for one thing.

And that is to see my son my love, grow up happy and healthy. InsyaAllah! :)

Mi Amor

Bonda loves you to the moon and back, son!

Monday, 11 June 2018

It is Ramadan again!

Guess what? It is Ramadan again!

And yes, I have miserably abandoned my blog for more than 3 months! *cry a river*
I am terribly sorry! T___T

This Ramadan is rather different from last Ramadan. I remember how I was so anxious last year, waiting for the confirmation from Tabung Haji on my hajj application. It was occupying my mind all the time. I was calling Tabung Haji almost every other day, writing letters after letters, and contacting every single person whom I know could be of help. Alhamdulillah it was a fruitful effort and I can't be thankful enough for the opportunity given to me and my husband. :')

I thought this year my mind would be occupied with Project 2018 which I have mentioned quite a number of times in my previous posts, but you know what, Allah knows best. Allah has a better planning for me, and I just have to put my Project 2018 on hold for a moment. If God wills it, I will continue going after the dream next year... InsyaAllah :)

Well, Project 2018 is more career related and the thing that Allah has planned for me this year, is more family related. ALHAMDULILLAH :)

So for this year's Ramadan, my prayers are mostly for the well being of my new journey. I hope everyone that reads this can keep my smooth journey in your prayers too!

p/s: We still have another 3 more days to go after the barakah in this holy month. Let's remind and support one another to do the right things and put away any negativity that can stop us from doing so! All the best everyone! ^_^

Moreh after teraweh with family. I kinda miss going around with telekung like how it was in Mekah. :)

Wednesday, 21 February 2018

I need an ice cream

"Memang adat dunia. Kadang-kadang kita akan jumpa orang yang sopan. Kadang-kadang kita akan jumpa orang yang mulut seperti longkang." -Afiqah, February 2018

My approach is simple.

If you are nice to me, I will be extra nice to you. But if you talk like you conquer the world, I might be doubly rude to you.

In the morning I had quite a decent day as I talked to someone on the phone to ask for help regarding a patent. From the other end of the phone, she was so pleasant and soft-spoken that she made my day.

On the other hand just an hour later, I contacted someone to clear some misunderstanding. The moment I picked up the phone she was already at the top of her voice. I was so surprised that I had to say that the line was bad and I couldn't hear clearly.

It was an annoying 15-minute call as she was continuously being difficult. I just do not know what her problem is, but I think she thinks rather highly of herself that no one is good enough to help her.

Mind you, the phone call was actually to HELP her, but instead she was rather rude.

I think I haven't spoken quite harshly to clients for quite some time, but the phone call just now just made me lose my head.

I think I need an ice cream to chill a bit now.


Tuesday, 23 January 2018

Little things

Last night I had a dream of revisiting a place that I really love upon an invitation. I saw familiar faces at the room, and I realised that the same team we had previously was also invited for the second time.

The difference was however, everyone there didn't seem happy to be there. No smiles on their faces that it got me thinking (yes, thinking in the dream) that people tend to be ungrateful the second time we receive the same thing.

It then got me thinking this morning, how true my dream was. Isn't it right to say that when we get something easily, we tend to be less excited and harder to be pleased?

I remember being happy over the little things like getting my favourite biscuits from my parents, playing at the playground, being read a story book by my mother, or even being in the car just looking at the lights of KL at night while my dad was driving.

Now, even when we have the money to buy things or to move around, the joy to have something is not as much as when we were much younger and more difficult to get it.

Sigh... How I wish people can start feeling like a kid. Maybe with that we will all be more grateful towards everything.

Kids... They know how to amuse themselves even without money..

Wednesday, 17 January 2018

Do we need a reminder for everything?

I don't know how people prioritise things. I thought people will always know what should be done first and what can wait.

There are things that we do not need any reminder. Especially things that are really important to our lives. Or our hereafter.

I can't imagine not going to an important exam if my mother doesn't remind me to go to go the exam hall on the exam day.

I can't imagine not waking up early to prepare for important meetings if my boss does not remind me to do so.

It is MY responsibility. That is something I SHOULD DO despite being reminded or not.

But then again, people might not prioritise what we think is important. Maybe what is important to us, is not that important to them.


Sunday, 31 December 2017

To another great year! InsyaAllah

The highlight of 2017 came a bit late. It was in August and September whereby I went to the holiest city with my hubby for Hajj. Yes, indeed it was a beautiful opportunity for the both of us. 

I just can't believe how lucky I am to be one of the chosen ones to perform one of the 5 pillars of Islam this particular year. To be able to perform Hajj while we are still young is a true blessing.

I definitely hope that the coming years will be as great or even better for my family and I. I am really really looking forward for next year as you might have read in one of my previous posts. PROJECT 2018 is going to be my next focus.

Wish me luck people! 

Hugs and kisses! Xoxo

As per usual! My 2017 #bestnine 

Thursday, 28 December 2017

Love is all that I need :)

I am indeed a lucky girl.

I might not have what my other friends at my age currently have i.e. big salary, pretty handbags, expensive makeup sets or even a child yet, but I know that what I have now is so much valuable than what I can ever imagine having many years back.

And that, is to have the love from people around me.

You know how people think once you are a grown up, you may not get that much attention from people anymore? From what I experience, I receive just as much love from my parents as how much I received many many years ago when I was a kid.

I am not so sure if it is merely due the fact that I am the last child or I am still a little baby girl in my dad's eyes, my dad will never allow me to go anywhere alone and do things that might be harmful to me.

The other day, I told my dad that I was going to step out of the car for a while to top up the touch n go card. To my surprise, my dad accompanied me just to make sure I was okay. It was not even a quiet area with suspicious looking  people around. We were only at RnR Sungai Buloh and the touch n go booth was very near to where our car was parked but my dad still insisted to accompany me just in case anything bad might happen.

Terharu gila..

In another instance, I was driving back home from the office one evening and I saw my parents' car at Duta Toll. They were driving back home from Mid Valley. As they saw my car, they wound down the window to wave at me. I thought that was it, and I just drove home as usual. However, as I was driving, I could see from my mirrors that my parents' car was behind mine. And guess what, each time I wanted to change lanes, my dad would cover the lane for me. They were actually taking care of me on the road even when we were not in the same car.

Sobs... terharu lagi..

My mom, being a good mom as she is, she is always concerned of my well being. Everyday without fail she will ask of the happenings in my office, and she always remembers every little detail that I have told her even of the things I have told her from 10 years ago. (Mom's memory is just scary). Till at my age, she always cares of the little little things about me such as what bedsheet I want to use next, what dress I want to wear for an event, and even if i have a good toilet brush in my toilet. Yes, she cares about me that much...

Huhuhu... You don't know how much I love you ayah and mummy!!


The love that I receive doesn't stop there. Now that I am married, the love from a husband might be normal. (This part i can write an entry on its own, hoping that all the readers won't vomit.. hahahah). But I am indeed super lucky because I have lovely lovely in-laws.

Each time I spend time with my husband's family, I feel at ease and never at any point of my life, I have felt like an outsider. My husband has the friendliest brothers, sisters, and to top that, my parents-in-law are the most generous and have the kindest of hearts. And I sincerely love them to the core.

I remember the first time I went to Kuching, not one person, but I guess 5 different people actually whispered to me, saying how lucky I am to have Mak and Bapak as my parents-in-law because they really are nice people. I can see in their eyes how they really mean what they said.

Once in a while when I drive alone in the car, I have my eyes wet thinking of how lucky I am to be blessed with caring and beautiful people in my life.

2016 and 2017 have been really meaningful to me in terms of knowing my family and my hubby's family more. Nothing more can I say except to be very very grateful of this partifular gift from Allah.

ALHAMDULILLAH YA ALLAH.. ALHAMDULILLAH... Aku bersyukur atas segala kurniaan Kau dan Kau lindungi dan rahmatilah keluargaku dan keluarga suamiku sentiasa Ya Allah. :)

Thursday, 21 December 2017

Self reflect

Once in a while, I give myself some time to think of what my presence means to some. How I affect other people's lives or how they see myself.

I am very much aware of how much I have changed through all these years. To be honest, I think I like myself a little bit more back then compared to recent days.

I remember how much more energetic, happy-go-lucky and positive I was a few years back. To be precise, when I was a student. I guess time has made me more mature and taught me to take things more seriously.

Now, people may see me as someone older than my real age and a that's a bummer. Is that what working life makes us all look? Old and boring? Ugh..

As I get older, I realise that when people say a thing or two, and start blaming me for some things I may not have control of, I might take offense and keep my distance a bit from that person. As absurd as it may sound, I might even be quiet and say less things around the person..It might not be for a long time, probably for just a day or two, but it does affect my whole personality.

I don't remember being easily offended when I was a student. Those days I might just move on to another friend and ignore the stupidity of things that happen around me at that time.

Now I give myself too much space I guess. The space to think and take it to the heart. I know this is just some sort of a stupid rant, but isn't self reflect is what we all should be practising?

Anywayyyy.. As my personality starts shifting from one to another, my spirit actually came back to life just a while ago upon hearing from someone quite neutral that I am an energetic and happy-go-lucky person.

WOW.. That's just like a boost that I haven't got for quite some time.

I guess I should keep that in my mind rather than other negative comments. That sure is one good impression for me to build my Project 2018. :)

Sunday, 17 December 2017

Robot or Human?

Just a week ago I went to Global Entrepreneurship Community Summit 2017 at KLCC. I find the event really interesting and beneficial to a lot of people in different industries.

The talk which I liked the most was the one that shared about Artificial Intelligence. The speaker explained to us how everything now may be considered a computer. Even us human is a living computer.

Every little expression, movement and act we do can be recorded and become a data which is useful for our future. We might one day have a life that is fully digitalised where robots are doing all the jobs that we do today.

And that, may be a bit scary don't you think?

We used to think that robots can't really do what us humans may do emotionally. We think robots are programmed to only do the scientific and critical thinking jobs.

What we may not realise is that the robots are now trained to be more like humans. In that talk, the speaker said that robots can even play poker now. Something that we thought only humans may be good at which is to bluff others, the robots apparently can do it too.

We thought robots can't conquer the right brain, but in Japan, a pre-programmed robot has unknowingly joined a writing contest and got top 5.

Hurm.. I won't be surprised if one day we may even have a robot composer and song writer where the song would become a hit.

It is apparent from the event that people are a bit nervous of the idea that robots become more human to the extend that they might take over our world all together.

But truthfully, I had something else in my mind...

With less interaction with other people, less emotion and more programmed to the daily life, don't you think that actually humans are becoming more like robots?

Something to ponder..

Sunday, 10 December 2017

Back down to Earth

When I feel low, I realise that I should just put my head or feet even lower.. Yes, lower, as in lower myself to the ground. :)

Somehow green colour of the Earth does give me some peaceful feeling that is indescribable.

Find le hubby in this photo :p

I am indeed very much in love with Nature. Alhamdulillah for the ability to see, smell and listen to the nature. I know that I am soo soo blessed. :)

Indulging the fresh air at KL Perdana Botanical Garden. Perhaps you guys should join me someday? ;)