Monday, 27 May 2019

Bye bye Favourite Workplace! Hello New Future!

I guess I had mentioned the word 'Project 2018' a few times last year. However, as I was pregnant, I had to abandon the idea and finally made a decision to proceed with the idea this year instead.

Yep, so it now becomes Project 2019!

Guess what? I can't believe myself that I have finally resigned from my 6++ years workplace and I am going SOLO! Woot woot! Please pray for my success everybody!

As everything is still an ongoing process, I can't release the name of my company just yet. But I promise, it does not sound cheesy. Hahaha! So far, I am planning to still carry on with the line of Intellectual Property as it still intrigues me in a lot of aspects.

Being a Patent Agent in Malaysia is also a good opportunity for me to run this business as there are less than 200 Malaysian Patent Agents currently. I am looking forward to meet new faces and gain great business skills along the way.

I really can't thank my boss enough for all the knowledge he has given me all this while. To me, he will always be my mentor. Anyway, my last day serving as an IP Consultant in IPvolusi Sdn Bhd would be this Thursday, i.e. on the 30th May 2019. Let's just pray that I won't cry when I deliver my speech on that day! (Oh speaking of that, I haven't even thought of the content yet..)

Bye~

Till my next update! ;p


Me, explaining to Amar of how this place has served me well! So long IPvolusi! You'll be missed!


Tuesday, 22 January 2019

Don't Be Such A Woman

A while ago I read a facebook post that has been shared by the thousands by facebook users. The post is basically about how a woman usually overthinks even in a very simple situation. The writer gave an example of what she, herself encountered the day before.

So this writer basically got upset with her husband and at that particular moment she had a lot of different scenario going around in her head just based on her husband short reply to her one simple question. And while she had that "interesting" thoughts of her husband and how she would answer and react to her husband later on, her husband was oblivious to that whole situation.

To cut the story short, she was all cool again when her husband suddenly offered her a drink. And all of a sudden that whole situation in her head seemed ridiculous. She finally said "sorry" to the husband, who was of course, totally clueless to what she was sorry for.

As much as I find the post funny, I find that it is indeed the truth.

Women in general just love to overthink. Even when there is nothing to worry about, we think too deeply on something and we end up getting hurt by our own ridiculous thoughts. Well, guys might not understand about how we think and I guess they never will. I guess if a guy can even have a glance on what is happening in our head, he might regret it his whole life.

Anyway, in all seriousness, I guess that is what I am aiming for in 2019. I always long to become more patient but I never had any idea on how to become one. I guess I can start by telling myself that "I should not be such a woman."

I know it sounds stupid because I am indeed a woman (or else, how would I ever deliver a baby?), but I am saying it in terms of emotion. I don't want to be emotionless and be like a robot, but I guess what I am trying to be here is to at least be less complicated. Not to think too much.

If people don't reply to my whatsapp, or if people don't say thank you for any kindness that I have shown, or if people don't react according to my expectation, or if people give unwanted comments of how I do things, I guess I should just move on with life and not take it to the heart. That is basically my own art of not giving a shit to what people around me do or think of me.

As long as people's behaviour around me does not cost me my life or my family's life, I guess there is no harm to just smile and move on.

Monday, 31 December 2018

Welcoming 2019

What have I been doing this whole year apart from being pregnant and delivering a baby? Gosh, how come it is already the 31st December?

I still feel like I need more time to straighten things up before new year comes. *sigh*

So, what has 2018 given or taught me? Well, one thing for sure: a new journey in LIFE.

Pregnancy and motherhood journey had been every girl's dream and Alhamdulillah I got to go through it. I can't be grateful enough to have a smooth pregnancy journey (disclaimer: a bit tough though during the 1st trimester) and a rather easy delivery experience.

Parenthood on the other hand is very challenging and patience testing, but I must say that I crave for more time with my little one. In 2 days' time, I am going back to work and I will definitely miss him like crazy.

*cry a bucket*

Thank you 2018 for the unthinkable journey it was for me! I will miss this memorable year but I am looking forward to more opportunities in this coming year. 2019, please be nice to me and the rest, ey?

Before I end my 2018 post, as usual, let's take a lool at my best nine of the year:


Well, the pictures say it all. Motherhood is definitely the highlight of my year! :)




Thursday, 27 December 2018

Your Smile My Strength

This is a rare moment where I can actually sit down and relax a bit as my little son, Amar, is sleeping like an angel while sucking his thumb. (This view reminds me of my younger self because I was a thumb sucker myself! Haha!)

These past couple of months have been mentally and physically gruelling for me. Not a single day has passed unmeaningful since I am learning everything I can about my son's habits and likings.

Although there are days which are extra tiring, nothing compares to looking at Amar's smile and sweet face when he is sleeping.

Yesterday for example, had been one of the most stressful days for me. Although there are considerably many people living under one roof with me, I usually have to manage my son all by myself for almost half of the day because most of the adults are out for work or for badminton/quran classes.

Even with 2 helpers at home, I just can't get myself to ask them to help me with babysitting Amar because I know that they already have so much in their hands. Not forgetting it is the school holiday, my nephews and nieces who are at home would need their attention too.

Usually I would love the school holidays even as an adult because that would mean less traffic on the road to go to work. But it is a different story all together when you are at home with many children, while taking care of a baby.

If you are wondering how many children there are at our home now, well there are 5 including my son. So if you could use your imagination a bit, you might see 4 kids who are keen on running around almost all the time while shouting excitedly at one another about some made up situations they are in.

And there I am in the middle of all the pleasant shoutings while holding my newborn son with all my might, feeling scared as hell if these kids might accidentally step on him or just sneeze unintentionally on his face when I am not looking. Please imagine. It's like I am handling 5 children at the same time.

It. Is. Just. TIRING.

To add to all this everyday scenario, yesterday the roof repairmen came to repaint my ceiling. It took them almost half the day and that left me with no choice but to hang around everywhere in the house, except in my own bedroom. *sigh*

So, with that, I had to carry Amar everywhere I went even when he was sleeping, because I just didn't dare putting him down near his cousins. Even in my parents' room where I once in a while put him down when he sleeps, I just couldn't do that yesterday because when he finally fell asleep, my dad got home from his outing and he was so tired that he had to take a nap.

To make things worse, I couldn't even take Amar's diapers from my room without the help of our helpers because my room at that time, was literally like a war zone. And Amar, he didn't want to be put down even for a second as he would scream his heads off if I ever did that. It was just one of those days when he decided to be a bit moody. Tsk..

Finally, a bit after 2pm when one of the helpers was a little bit free, I managed to pass Amar to her for a while because I had to perform my Zohor prayer. For your record, that was only her second time holding Amar since he was born.

It was even tricky to perform my prayer because my praying attire was in my room. I had to reluctantly go into my room, since I couldn't find my siblings' praying attire. Moreover, I didn't want to wake my dad up simply to borrow my mom's praying attire because I saw how tired my dad was earlier. So, there I went into my room a.k.a. the war zone, stepping slowly one by one just to avoid all the sharp things that the repairmen had left on my room floor.


The war zone

And right after I gave my salam after my prayer in one of the other rooms, I heard my son's shrieking voice, already crying for milk.

Gosh...

There I went again downstairs. Feeding my son and trying to calm him down with all the situations going around the house at that time.

To cut the tiring-day story short (I know. It is damn long already), Amar finally had a nap with me after Asar in my parents' room before my husband came home around Maghrib.

Although it was a super long day for me, this morning when I saw my son's cheerful morning smile, all the tiredness seemed so faraway. Like a thing of the past that never actually happened.

Magical? Somehow it feels like it.


Amar in one of his better moods

Now, I am beginning to understand what true love means. It is the love you have for someone even when you are at your lowest. The things that you would go through just to make the person happy and comfortable in life.

Being a mother is a lifetime commitment. I have learned that even if I am tired, I can't just quit becoming a mother. And I am glad it is as it is. InsyaAllah, I wouldn't even want to quit in giving the best to my son. And I hope that he knows that one day.


Me carrying him around in a self-made babywrap



Wednesday, 19 December 2018

Anybody Out There?

I have so much to say. So much to tell. But I have so little time.

Why?

Because people just do not pay attention anymore.

Stories that can be shared within minutes take hours to tell. Sometimes they are not even shared because the perfect time has passed.

Whose fault is it that people are not able to communicate properly anymore?

Well...I can't say for sure.

But I surely miss having someone who can listen to my endless stories.

Thursday, 6 December 2018

Forget the What Ifs

We are all living with uncertainties. For every move that we take, there is a 50-50 chance of success or failure.

And at some stage of our lives we might have that doubt, either big or small, of whether or not we are doing the right thing. That doubt always makes us rethink of the 'road not taken'.

At that moment, we will start questioning our moves, our choices, and feel regretful of not taking that other route.

However, it is advisable for us to quickly snap out of that phase and realise that for every move we make, there is always a good reason for it. For all the things that we have decided upon, we should own it and path our way to success.

It is only a waste of time to regret and think of the should-haves when you can always make things better. Prove to people around, that even by taking the less popular route, you are still able to shine bright like a diamond! ;)





Gee... what the hell am I blabbering about? I guess I just can't wait for my 2019 project! ;p

Friday, 30 November 2018

Mood

I find it frustrating when people neglect responsibilities due to laziness or simply because they do not want to mess up their heads with 'things'. Each time when an issue is brought up, these people will shoo it away and say they will look into it soon.

And soon, as you can expect, never comes.

Whether we like it or not, in this life, we have to expect challenges. Without tackling these challenges, they are just going to pile up until one day, everything will just crash right onto our faces and that is when we are going to regret how we procrastinate things.

I guess I am just tired of reminding people of something day after day. If I have my way, I'll just do everything myself and take charge as how it used to be.

Hurm...Or maybe I really should? Coz depending on others is just tiring...

Thursday, 22 November 2018

Woman of Steel? Not Really..

I love to be seen as an independent woman.

To me, it is satisfying when I do something from beginning till end on my own, without any help from others. Especially when that particular something turns out to be a success story.

In my daily working life, I love taking up challenges and do things according to my way. I always try to take charge of every task given to me with minimal help from others. And at the end of the day, when the clients appreciate the work, I feel like it is a direct compliment from them. That itself is like a success to me.

In regard to work, I always feel that telling people how tiring it is to do something is somewhat like a failure. Thus, I always keep some part of my ego within me and try to complain less. I know that the stress may be reflected on my face on some days, but I always try to keep my workload stress separated from my daily life.

However,  I find it different this time when handling my baby.

Although I am at home most of the time (of which may seem like a long holiday to some), I find it really challenging and simply tiring. Yes, I do have some 'me time' when the baby sleeps, and yes, that 'me time' is one of the reasons why I can update this blog, but when the baby is cranky and cries continuously, I feel like the energy from within has been sucked out slowly and it just drains me.

But alhamdulillah, as I have my whole family under one roof, there are a lot of people who can help me. I am especially grateful to my Mom who never complains in taking care any of her grandchildren whenever her kids are not around.

I hate portraying myself as a weak mom. But one thing that motherhood might have taught me is that we all will still need other people's help at some point of our lives. As much as I like doing things my way and on my own, I cannot run away from asking people for help.

And as much as we want to be a man/woman of steel who is always seem strong and independent, remember that there will always come a time that we will need people's help and support.



P/S: Kudos to all support systems that we have in our lives! (spouse, parents, siblings, bff etc)




Yayy! It is time for some 'me time'! :P


Wednesday, 7 November 2018

My Amar, Mi Amor

*Long post alert!*

Here I am, around 5 months after my previous post, writing again at this once favourite spot of mine. While typing away, my precious little baby boy is sleeping cosily under my blanket, waiting for the right moment to scream at the top of his voice, asking for milk. Oh well, how can I blame him? At 38 days old, nothing else excites him apart from milk.

Yes readers. ( If I even have any...) I am now a mother! Alhamdulillah, on the 1st of October 2018, I had delivered a miracle I call Amar. He is now a new addition to the noisy Suriyadis household. I can't be thankful enough to Allah to be given this opportunity to become a mother.

I remember when I was a teenager, my friends and I had this not so serious conversation about marriage. We asked each other about the age that we thought was right for us to get married. I simply plucked a number, which was 27. Alhamdulillah, I got married last 2 years and at that time I was still at the age of 27. And to be honest, to become a mother before 30 was also one of my targets, though I seriously didn't feel pressured to get pregnant that soon after getting married. But Alhamdulillah, Allah's plans are always the best. I indeed became a mother before 30! :)

To me, in becoming a mother, I have to go through 3 different stages.

1) The pregnancy.

At this stage, I thought I had it bad because I was feeling unwell throughout my first trimester. I vomited so frequently that I lost a few kilos during the early stage of my pregnancy. I remember being warned by the nurses to increase my intake to ensure a proper weight gain. Oh wow, never have I thought to ever be told "to eat a lot more" in my life. But Alhamdulillah, as the second trimester approached, my appetite came back and the whole journey from there got better. (I even managed to fast the whole of Ramadan, Alhamdulilah!)

I consider myself lucky as my stamina during the last 2 semesters was rather good and I did not have any complications throughout the pregnancy. The funny thing is that, many people were not even aware that I was pregnant! (BIG clothes really help in hiding that tummy!) Not that I was trying to hide it from anyone, but I simply felt uncomfortable wearing any tight clothings that would result in people staring at my way. Anyway, all in all, my pregnancy experience was just how I wished it be, i.e. to always be healthy. :)


2 days before the delivery. The picture that I look most pregnant. :P

2) The delivery

My estimated delivery date was actually 6th October 2018. However, as my baby was eager to see the world a bit ealier, my water broke on the 30th September (after Asar). But the naive me thought it was just some discharge and I decided to still go out for dinner at Paparich with le hubby and parents that night (please don't give me any judgemental stare). Luckily I decided to ask for MC as there's a show the morning after. As the doctor did some testing, it was confirmed that my water already broke and I was told to rush to the hospital as it would be dangerous if the amniotic fluid goes lower than a certain reading.

My delivery story is one interesting one (at least for me), but I think I will save it for another day. To cut it short, I was induced, and everything went so quickly that I really believe that when I was given the epidural, it was a bit toooo late. I am pretty sure that I could have delivered the baby the particular moment I was given the epidural as the contraction was already soo soo strong. (Oh the contraction. Never did I imagine it was as painful as that. *safe to say that it was one of the most painful feeling ever in the whole world*)

The moment my baby was delivered, all the pain literally went away and I felt... so.. SLIM again.. HAHAHAH! But seriously, I mean there is no more heartburn and eating is now 10 times more heavenly!



Amar, after his first shower

All this while, I have only listened to people's labour stories. And the one I have probably heard for at least a hundred times, is my mother's life-and-death experience of delivering yours truly. Now, I have a story of my own that I can share. The one that will always be in my heart (and mind), insyaAllah!

3) The motherhood

I skip the pantang stage because I do not really do pantang like how most Malays do. But, I could say, my confinement lady was awesome. She helped me during the first 3 weeks and now I am taking care of my son full time. (read: with the help of my ever helpful hubby, parents, and siblings)


Amar at 1 month old

This stage to me, is by far, the hardest. Maybe because this is indeed an ongoing phase i.e.: till the day I die. And moreover, this is the phase that I am currently going through. But honestly, this journey is an emotional journey for me. It is a mixture of happy and depressing moments. Happy as I am able to see my son growing up day by day. And depressing as I sometimes fail to provide what I have planned to provide. But I know, raising up a child is not a straightforward thing. We may have all the theories at our fingertips, but executing it is just another story.

I just feel that I should learn one thing at a time and just do not pressurise myself with expectations which are just too hard to achieve. Getting tips from people is good, but it does not mean I should take it and implement it because I believe each person has different challenges and everyone has just to adapt accordingly and learn from there.

As for now, I only hope for one thing.

And that is to see my son my love, grow up happy and healthy. InsyaAllah! :)


Mi Amor


Bonda loves you to the moon and back, son!

Monday, 11 June 2018

It is Ramadan again!

Guess what? It is Ramadan again!

And yes, I have miserably abandoned my blog for more than 3 months! *cry a river*
I am terribly sorry! T___T

This Ramadan is rather different from last Ramadan. I remember how I was so anxious last year, waiting for the confirmation from Tabung Haji on my hajj application. It was occupying my mind all the time. I was calling Tabung Haji almost every other day, writing letters after letters, and contacting every single person whom I know could be of help. Alhamdulillah it was a fruitful effort and I can't be thankful enough for the opportunity given to me and my husband. :')

I thought this year my mind would be occupied with Project 2018 which I have mentioned quite a number of times in my previous posts, but you know what, Allah knows best. Allah has a better planning for me, and I just have to put my Project 2018 on hold for a moment. If God wills it, I will continue going after the dream next year... InsyaAllah :)

Well, Project 2018 is more career related and the thing that Allah has planned for me this year, is more family related. ALHAMDULILLAH :)

So for this year's Ramadan, my prayers are mostly for the well being of my new journey. I hope everyone that reads this can keep my smooth journey in your prayers too!

p/s: We still have another 3 more days to go after the barakah in this holy month. Let's remind and support one another to do the right things and put away any negativity that can stop us from doing so! All the best everyone! ^_^




Moreh after teraweh with family. I kinda miss going around with telekung like how it was in Mekah. :)