Monday, 24 August 2015

Let it go for real

One of the posts that I have in my draft is entitled 'Strangers Again.' Somehow I couldn't bring myself to publish it, neither could I finish the entry, to be honest. It has been in my draft for a few months already.

I do understand that sometimes we are reminded of our past unconsciously. When we walk pass an area that we are quite used to visit, when we listen to songs that we once played over and over again, or due to any other occurrences that might transport ourselves to the past.

To be fair, I am reminded of my past quite frequently and that heart twinging feeling occurs quite often. However, I can't find a good reason for me to talk about it to other people, so I somehow just write somewhere that only I have access to it.

I feel that I rather not burden anybody else with any history that I have. Though I have no problem opening up if people ask me directly or sincerely want to know about it as I think it is better to know things like this directly from me rather than to get the source from a third party.

Somehow, isn't it weird if we keep mentioning of our past rather than living in the present?

Don't blame people if they think you are weird of not letting go of your past. Everybody has their own old stories. Whether the old stories are to be kept or to be shared is one's choice. I just feel that only when the time is right, the stories might be brought up.

And only, if it is to the interest or for the benefit of the listeners.



Gambar sekadar hiasan :p

Saturday, 15 August 2015

Hangry

Some people when they are tired they are easily agitated. Even nothing can turn into something. Even when u are smiling they might see like u are scowling. Which ever way, let them eat first. Or else, u might be eaten instead.

Famous phrase: A hungry man is an angry man.

Okay.

Sunday, 9 August 2015

Frankly Speaking

I used to be a very straightforward kind of person. Never did i have a problem telling people off when i was not in agreement with something. Sometimes i even had to remind myself that i need to be a bit softer or probably dilute my frankness to a certain degree just to make sure i didn't hurt the other party. Everytime i come clean on my real feeling, somehow i feel good. I feel relieved. Nothing to hide nothing to hold back.

However, now that i am a bit older i find that being straightforward is not really a good thing. I tend to curb my feelings and just go with the flow. And in the process, i die inside. Bit by bit.

For example, as i am the youngest in the family, i find it disrespectful to lash out any anger or disappointment to older people. However, as I myself still am struggling with my anger management, i just pray that i can be better with age. Specifically, for me to be more patient.

Sometimes i don't want to say the wrong things to people who are older than me, so i guess it is easier to just stay away and have less communication with them. People don't understand my struggle of not wanting to appear rude that i tend to be a bit subdued at times. I know my weakness i.e. saying the wrong things when i am angry. Hence, nowadays, if i am in a crowd and i am somehow not in agreement with something, i may not say i agree, but at the same time will also not say that i disagree. Which sadly, may still offend some people.

Another thing is being a person under someone. For example, an employee to his or her employer, i find that it is also not an option for us employees to go against the employer. Even if the employer does have a different idea which is not logical, employees can't say straightforwardly that the employer is stupid. Can we? Hence, playing around with words and saying yes at that moment is the only thing the employee can do.

The third case is when we have no idea who we are to a person. Sometimes we really have the urge to give an idea or show our care to another person, but we hold it back. Why? Because we might think that, "why should i say this to him/her? I am probably not even considered as a close friend. I am not family.  I am not his spouse. Why should i bother?" Although in our hearts, we feel like shouting that idea.

This non straightforward approach is somehow killing me. I would like to say what i think. I would like to have the freedom to say something.

But...

At the end of the day, having a good relationship with people is what matters most. Oh well, it is still not the end of the world. Don't we all have The Almighty to listen to every problem we have? ;)




Bring me to the seaside. So i can put everything aside. :p



Friday, 31 July 2015

Me Time

I can't believe I'm saying this. But i think sometimes i do love to have a 'me time' more often. Nowadays i am easily hurt by people's heartless words.

As much as i dislike driving, i think i love the freedom i have when i am alone in the car. It's the only time when i can think deeply about something without any disruption. That's the only time i can sing at the top of my lungs. And that's probably one of the times i can cry my hearts out without feeling ashamed. Hoping that by the time i arrive at my destination, i shall feel alright again.

The more i meet people, the more ideas are exchanged. The more opportunities of listening to things which i might dislike. Sometimes it's also frustrating when we meet people at a wrong timing as they might not be in the best of mood or at the best state of mind.

Appearing hurt in front of a person is not something that i am fond of doing. Hence, i now prefer to refrain from being in such situations if i don't need to.

Hurm... i think i might drive by myself more often now.

Thursday, 16 July 2015

Selamat Hari Raya, Maaf Zahir Batin :)

The only people who you can't choose but will stick with you through thick and thin are your family. I have been reminded so many times by my dad especially, that friends, are not everything.

Yes, I am very much aware of that. And I know for sure that my priority is my family. If my family is hurt in any way by somebody, I will probably hurt that person badly. That's just how my family is actually. We tell everything to each other. We share stories. We give ideas and we try to solve problems together. In simple words, we protect each other.

When I was once asked during a job interview of what I am passionate of, I didn't have to think twice. I knew instantly that I should write about my family. That's the only topic that I can discuss about through out the day without being bored.

However, I realise that I am the type who is easily attached with someone. Even if I know that I will always have my family to back me up in any situation, I still treasure my friends with my life. Yes, friends do come and go. But during the absence of a family, friends play a major role in your life.

If some friends are just destined to be gone from my life, I usually get upset for quite sometime. It takes time for me to get over it because to me, good friendship is hard to build. When a friendship ends, I am devastated and sometimes put the blame on myself.

Lately I figure that I have been losing quite a number of really really good friends due to unavoidable circumstances. It does hurt but I know that if something is not meant to be, it just isn't. Even how hard I try to make the relationship (read: friendship) work, it still won't if Allah has decided it to be that way.

Anyway, even if these people won't be in my circle anymore, insyaAllah I will still pray the best for them. For Allah to bless them with all the good things in life and for them to be in the best of health.

For this hari raya which is tomorrow, I would like to wish everyone who has ever crossed my path, family or friends, to forgive all the wrong things that I might have done or harsh words that I have ever uttered. I sincerely seek for forgiveness and may all of you have a very happy Aidilfitri.





Where am I celebrating raya this year? Of course, where my family is, is where I will be... InsyaAllah.. :)


Selamat Hari Raya, Maaf Zahir Batin!


Sunday, 7 June 2015

Some things are better left unsaid

Lately quite a few people around me have been asking for my advice on their love problems. Not that I have much to share though, as I am no love expert myself. But what I can do is usually to give some general tips and explain things based on my own (limited) experience.

There was one time someone asked me on how he can woo this one particular girl. I told him some stuff, but the most important thing I said was just to be more sensitive. As I was talking on a girl's point of view, I realise all girls love attention and most importantly, being heard. It is hard to understand what really is at the back of a woman's mind as women tend to say something else when they actually mean something else. I, too, sometimes do that because I just don't want to stir things up and I guess it is easy to just....be polite and more agreeable.

Being sensitive actually covers a lot of aspects. I simply explained that what he could do is to focus on what the girl is saying and show in subtle way that he actually remembers all those info. When a guy pays attention, it shows that he cares. It is as simple as that. 

Well, that is from one aspect. The other thing is to be more careful and to read the situation well. Being sensitive of a situation actually applies to everything. Not simply when one wants to win another person's heart, but it is also useful for our daily people's skill. There are times when we should and should not do something. There are times when we should or should not express/say something. 

For example, when someone is in distress because of something, say, a missing cat, that is the time to provide support and words of encouragement that the missing cat shall return. It is definitely NOT the time to say that the person could have been more careful to not let the cat out. Or even worse, to say that cats usually go missing when they are dying. (Like, seriously??)

A few days back I was rather down to find out my phone had some charging problem. So I told a few people of the situation. I am thankful that some people can be very sensitive to try to understand my problem and give some solutions. While there were some people making fun by giving remarks such as "Oh, don't worry Fiqah. Those days we didn't even have smartphones but we still managed to carry on with lives, right?" I don't know if that was supposed to be consoling or what, but I felt that it was poor taste. Unnecessary remarks should be avoided at alllll times. OK?

Another thing is that maybe we should be reminded once in a while that some things are better left unsaid. Not to the extend we hide things until it becomes suspicious, but it's just somehow I see people can be a bit insensitive at certain situation. Sometimes we might have the urge to tell some story which might be true, but if rationally it is unnecessary, do avoid saying it. For example, when we heard some stories about the person, especially if it might lower the person's spirit in any way, please refrain from telling him or her. Also, if we have some unnecessary past stories which might not make another person feel good or comfortable, just refrain from sharing it, shall we?

Being sensitive is not an easy thing to do. But slowly with experience, I think we can see clearer what is good and what is bad for us and others. InsyaAllah. :)




^__^

Friday, 5 June 2015

Show offs

I remember that I used to say that I won't take any offense on people unless they do something directly to me. I have a few friends who like to warn me of some other people who they think mean more harm than good to me. I usually just say thank you and take it with a pinch of salt as I have my own stance not to judge people unless any damage is done to me.

I think I am going to take my words back because I know now for sure that I am easily turned off by show offs. These show offs can be divided into two groups. One, those who are just interested in themselves and always think that they are better than the rest, and two, those who see themselves as the best among their circle and at the same time put the rest down, despite whatever they think are correct or not. 

In simple words, I am rather disgusted by this kind of people. 

Sometimes I just smile to one's brag on family, intelligence or beauty. They can talk like they have the most successful/well known family, siblings, cousins, uncles and the list goes on and on. Okay, so what you are saying might be true, but is it possible if you can put a little damper on it? Does it hurt if people do not know that much of your glittering success stories?    

And oh, some can do it rather subtly without sounding like they are actually bragging. Good job, you are one good actor/actress. I'm impressed. *clap clap* 

The thing is that, sometimes other people too might have things or stories which probably are even more bragging-worthy (I don't know if such things even exist), but people choose to keep quiet and let other people discover about them themselves. 

Hurm, to each his own. If you feel it is proper to brag, then, oh well... just carry on. But I think I might just start to stay away from these people before I become one myself. 

Personally, they do not harm me, but emotionally, they do.

Thursday, 30 April 2015

Destress

Different people have different ways of releasing stress. Some might smoke heavily, some might find their comfort food such as ice creams and some might shop for stuff which probably are not even needed. However, not all stress releasing activities are bad. Some even do activities which are good for their body and health such as going to gym. Not only it's good for their health, they can even meet people and make new friends.

In my case, I share my daily activities or happenings to my family and close friends. Though sometimes I do have to admit that I tend to tell people a bit too much about my life, that I have a tendency of not remembering the things that I have told. *my bad if I bore anyone to tears*

No matter what ever way one uses to release stress, the important thing is to remember not to hurt anyone during the stress releasing activity. Some people may irresponsibly let go of their anger to people who are not even involved in the situation. They tend to hurt others by using harsh words or worse, by using physical.

I totally understand that patience is something that is very difficult to achieve. I myself am very temperamental and sometimes can't really manage my anger. That is why the kind of people we are mingling with is very important to us. They are the ones that might shape how and what we become. During my training last 2 weeks, i was even given a free advice on selecting a partner in life as the trainer somehow roughly knows my characteristic. *blegh*

Ok people, may u all find the best technique to destress!



Currently, quite obsessed with travelling. Looking at the world definitely brings a lot of happiness to me. ;)



Saturday, 4 April 2015

Transition in life

Transition in life happens every now and then. However, the effect is somehow different to different people. Some may adapt to the transition easily, while other may find it a bit more difficult.

An easy example that has been bothering me lately is of course, the implementation of GST in Malaysia. I shall not discuss whether or not GST is a good thing as it would just stir people's emotion. The implementation of GST has directly affected all Malaysians. Obviously it is a new way of life that we have to abide, whether we like it or not. And from my observation, it is not something that people can adapt to easily. One complaint after another, and I am seeing pictures of receipts everywhere over the net for the 4th day already now. *yawn*

Okay, so transition doesn't just have to be the change of an era. It might even be the change in our daily routine. When one person has graduated from university, the transition might then be from a student life to a working life. That kind of transition usually takes time for a person to adapt to the lifestyle. Getting used to hanging out with friends to hanging out with colleagues obviously needs some time and as the social lifestyle also changes, it might even affect the emotion. 

In such transition, we might feel like we are losing something along the process. The attention we usually get from the people who we are used to be with, or the familiar feeling might no longer be there, hence affecting our emotions. The emptiness does hurt, but just for a while. As time passes by, we will start to move on or we might even enjoy the new surrounding that we are involved in.  

To me, any transition needs time. Time heals any negativity. Just give more time for something that we are not really used to. Try finding the positivity in something that we can't change. If we are entering a new phase of life, try to look for the good side of the new phase and make full use of it. If we are meant not to be in touch with some people anymore, try to find the good side of the people we are meant to stay in touch with. It applies to any situation. 

Because not all transitions are bad. It's how we ourselves deal with the situation.


Friday, 13 March 2015

Tribute to strong mothers

Alhamdulillah, just 3 days ago my sister gave birth to another baby boy who is soo lovely. Call me an obsessed auntie or whatever, I just love kissing his soft cheeks and carrying him here and there. I guess I am a bit more excited this time because I never had the opportunity to be around when my sister or sister in-law were carrying Armaan or Arisya or even during Armaan’s or Arisya’s first few days.

I am just glad I could be in the hospital with my other family members when my sister gave birth to Baby A last Tuesday. Listening to my sister’s labour story and seeing myself how she is somehow still in pain, I am very much amazed how women can be so strong and go through all the difficulties just to make sure their babies are safely born.



presenting my new nephew: Baby A :)

Of course, as I have expected, in the hospital, my dad told us again the story of how me and my other siblings were born in our own unusual ways. Yes, I have heard the story no less than 50 times but I still cringe each time I listen to the story. My mummy is a person with a very low pain threshold, yet she almost sacrificed her life to make sure I was safely delivered. I can’t describe how I am still quite surprised that despite having one leg popped out first instead of my head, I still managed to see the world. Alhamdulillah. :')


I am sure all mothers have their own different stories to tell their children, but one thing that mothers have in common is that they will give anything to have their babies safely delivered even if it means their lives are at stake. Carrying the baby around with backache, pretty bad morning sickness and worst of all, mood swings, I really adore the patience a mother has to go through for almost 10 months plus months and months of adapting to parenthood.

I have seen so many mothers with small child/children talk fondly of their children and of how much they love them to the moon and back. How they get pretty angry if some people mistreat their children. The love a mother has for her children is unconditional. It is magical. That is why people usually say mothers know best. :)

With all the sacrifices a mother has given, I find it very strange if a child takes a mother for granted. Mothers should always be in our top priority no matter what, moral wise or even religion wise. Even IF one day they do something that is not according to our liking, always remember that without their love and care, without them raising us, without them at the first place, there would never be us. 

If we want our children to respect us when we are old and grey, then better be sure that we ourselves respect our mothers. I always believe that one of the keys to a happy and blessed life is to always love and respect our parents. InsyaAllah, Allah will ease every single thing that we do. 

To all strong mothers out there, you all are the BEST! 

p/s: Please pray that I can be one too one day! ;P





Thanks mummy for always being a lovely mummy to your daughter. I love you to the moon and back! ♡