Tuesday, 26 May 2009

dear diary....

does writing in a diary make you feel any better? i don't really know because i don't really write in diaries. i have tried many times but somehow i failed to continue because it just took so much time of my time. (so does this blog actually!)

i kept postponing my entries and sometimes i only wrote half way. well, maybe i am the expressive type that i tried to insert every single detail of what had happened without leaving out my emotions in the diary. and guess what, i just couldn't stand writing them anymore. my hand and fingers got numb only after 2 pages of writing. i can't help feeling regret with my laziness that half of my life might have been forgotten. well, bits and pieces of exciting times will surely remain but i am just scared i would lose something which i shouldn't have.

i put up a blog just to share some of my thoughts, some of my inner feelings, but it does not actually act as a diary. some people might have used blog as a daily diary, but i choose not to as it might just bore people to know about my daily boring life. :P

that is also the reason why i always share my day and my feelings of happiness, anger, frustration and loads more, with those whom i trust the most. i barely see the need to write because i find it easier to talk and once i have got the stories out of my head, i feel more at ease. actually i do have a notebook where i jot down the events that happen on some particular days. nothing much on my emotions though. i express better when i talk, i guess.



however these few days i feel like something is mounting up within me. i feel like sharing something with someone but i just couldn't reach that person. it is hard not to let something out when you really have to. some things are suitable to be shared only with the right people. haih....

so, people! what do you suggest? should i start writing in a diary again? does it really help people feel better? or perhaps you want to lend your ears to listen to my boring stories? =D

Sunday, 24 May 2009

boredom

it's dark outside. it was a bright sunny day this morning. funny how the clouds can move from one place to another that fast. while i was still enjoying the sun, the clouds had to spoil my mood. not a bad thing though. it actually lowers the temperature a little.

but since my mood can really depend on the weather,this kind of weather makes me feel tremendously low with no expectation. everything seems dull and no life. should i go back to bed?

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaghhhh!!!

i really feel like shouting and throwing myself into the sea. floating on the water and looking at the sky. it would be a great way to relax a bit. boy, how i miss pulau perhentian. the crystal clear water with bright sky and glittering spotless beach. colourful fishes and big turtles in the sea.

this kind of weather always brings back a lot of memories. i don't want to be here! i am physically in kobe but spiritually in malaysia. haih.... what can i do. man, i'm bored!! ~_~

Friday, 22 May 2009

eyes cant lie

everyone can laugh, everyone can smile.
but can everyone smile
sincerely from the bottom of the heart?
the mouth can lie, but eyes cant.
even if we try very hard
to make a curve on that lip
without sincerity,
somehow people can see through us.
thats just not what we really want to convey.
if we really r sincere,
just a small smile is enough.
our eyes will smile together
and also the people around.
=)



(kalau hebat, teka la, yang mane satu tengah senyum)

so, dont worry. even if we r wearing a mask to protect ourselves from swine flu virus or whatsoever, people can still see our smile. not exactly on the lips, but at least from our eyes. not bad, huh.

smile more everyone! it makes you look younger! =D

Tuesday, 19 May 2009

money versus time



is money really everything to us? is it true we cant enjoy life without money? i totally disagree with it though i am a big fan of money myself. ^o^
we are able to enjoy simple life even we have very little money with us. it all depends on how we define the word 'happy'. to me, it is very simple. as long as i have good company, family or even close friends, i am happy. yes, that simple.
people nowadays tend to have the idea of 'no money, no life'. yeah, it might be a little bit troublesome when we don't have enough money to buy something. however, money is not everything to create a good life but time is. as long as we still have the time and we make full use of it, no doubt we could have the best life we ever wished for.
to us students, it is most challenging on weekends and holidays to make use of the time. the rate of money spending is the highest on holidays. almost everyone wants to go out and plans like that normally require a lot of money, such as going out-station, going to concerts, shopping and also having big meals outside with friends.
here i would list out some activities which i find very interesting yet not much money needed. all you need is company.
  1. take a stroll with your friends at nearby park.
  2. make pot-luck picnic with your close friends near the river or anywhere nice.
  3. invite your friends over to your house and cook together. it is the time when you can talk everything and update about yourselves.
  4. make your own concert at home with your colleagues.
  5. rent some DVDs and watch them at home.
  6. go under the sun and play Frisbees.
  7. go to the playground and play with the swings. would be more fun if you take videos of yourselves.
  8. if you are not far from the beach, just sitting by the beach would be great. enjoy the sunset and relax. =)

these things can be more interesting compared to having expensive dinner at exclusive restaurants or even buying expensive stuff at the malls. so, why spend more? =)

Sunday, 17 May 2009

i dont need holidays!!!



due to the fact that one person was confirmed having the swine flu in kobe, our university is closed for 1 week. i heard that later that night, this disease has spread to more than 5 people. pretty scary but i hate to have instant holidays!

do you know why? the reason is that, after lazying for about a week like this, we will surely be pushed and will be given a hard time later on. this situation has once happened 2 years ago when someone from our university was suspected getting measles and because of that, the whole school was closed. at first, we were so excited to get the holidays. but after the school started to reopen, we had to attend saturday classes to replace the classes that we have missed before. it was really tiring and i hate the fact that i only have 1 day of holiday per week. things can get even worse because there is a chance of our examinations and summer holidays getting rescheduled. that 1 thing worries me the most.

i have just booked a ticket back home on 7th of august!!!! i dont want to delay my flight and it would cost me a lot just to change the date... huuuuu~~ people, help me to calm down when those days come, ok?! right now, the only thing i can be happy about, is my mid term exam will be postponed till school reopens. hahahha....

hurmmmm.... what should i do for today, tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, so on and so forth....

Thursday, 14 May 2009

feel like selling some fish? oh, u wish!

mr A : god, im hungry. lets have some bread, shall we?
miss B: yeah, me too! my stomach is growling. bread sounds good to me.
miss C: oh, that's a great idea! lets go to the coffee shop near the post office and have some bite.
mr D : i cant wait to have my favourite mozzarella and tomato croissant. what do you say, X?
mr X :no can do. i am not hungry. i feel like going to the gym and get a good workout. i am sure everyone understands. we need to be there pronto. it closes in 2 hours' time. plus, i am the driver now. u can always go to the coffee shop some other time.
so what do call a person like mr X? yes, exactly! he is no other than a selfish person. just because he doesnt want to have what other people want, it doesnt mean he can deprive other people's cravings. even if he were to have the thing that people need. (in the above case, he has the car). why does everyone else have to give up their plans?
it drives me up to the wall when someone can be really heartless and selfish. all he ever care is his own needs without considering other people's feelings. i am a great believer that older people should be wiser and more considerate. but i guess i am wrong as older people can be totally ignorant at times. anyway, majority should win hands down, shouldnt they? =)

Sunday, 10 May 2009

mummy, happy mother's day

when i was just a little girl, i asked my mother what would i be.
would i be pretty, would i be rich, here's what she said to me:

my dear iqa, you are already pretty, and you can always get married to a rich man.

hahahha, ok, that is fiction. my mother would never say something like that. but the pretty part, maybe! =D

as everyone knows, it is mother's day today. i am frustrated not to get the opportunity to be there with my mom. and of course, not to be there with my father on his birthday 2 days ago. anyway, mummy... you are the greatest mother anyone could ever wished for. you have been there for me whenever i need somebody to support me. you are my life and i cant imagine living without you. i miss you so much!!!!! HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY MAMA! muah2!!




Friday, 8 May 2009

happy birthday ayah!!

satu, kasih nan abadi,
tiada tandingi,dia yang satu.

dua,sayang berpanjangan,
membawa ke syurga,kasihnya ibu.

tiga,lapar dan dahaga,
rela berpayahan,setianya ayah.

empat, sukarku ketemu,
berhati selalu,beza antara kasih dan kekasih.

ibu,ku ingat dahulu,
menyisir rambutku,kemas selalu.

ayah, membawa ke sekolah,
bergunalah ilmu,hingga dewasa.

sayang,dengar lagu ini,
untuk kau sandarkan,buat pedoman.

manis,jangan teus ditelan,
pahit terus dibuang,
itu bidalan harus kau renungkan.


this song reminds me of school days where we learned it during usrah and it is still fresh in my memory. whenever i sing this song, i will definitely think of my father and mother and it never fails to get me a lump in my throat. yeah, i miss them so much. and today, the 8th of may, is my father's birthday. to ayah, i hope u had a great time on your birthday and may all ur wishes come true. your daughter misses you so much!



i love you dad! muah2! =)

Wednesday, 6 May 2009

crawling in my shawl

heeeeeeeelpppppppppppppp~

it was really traumatising. i still got goosebumps because of this disgusting hundred-feet-animal. ugh... yeah, i just saw a centipede in my laundry.(lipaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!!!) i was just about to fold my clean, washed clothes when i saw a 6 to 7 centimetres long centipede. eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeppp!!! it was so gross!!

i got so freaked out that i jumped and shrieked out. luckily my housemate wasn't home and also unlucky for me as i had no one to help out.

with hands half shaking, i took the shawl where the centipede was crawling on and hurriedly i tossed it out of the window. oh, not to worry, actually i threw it outside, where i hang and dry my clothes. (still not that stupid to throw a good and nice shawl away.)

okay, i was totally horrified by the sight of the centipede. it sure can crawl fast enough.

feel like vomiting. shall have no appetite for the rest of the day.

feel sick. gonna hate crawling creatures for the rest of my life.

Friday, 1 May 2009

hopeless

i feel hopeless. more like useless actually, for not being able to help someone who is important while he/she is in trouble. having a good time while someone is having a hard time doesnt at all make me feel good.

somehow i hope i can do more than just giving words of wisdom as if im a miss-know-it-all. it does make me feel sick. coz i know im no miss perfect afterall.

true, that sometimes all we need is someone who can listen to our problems. but how far am i as a good listener? how supportive can i be when someone ever needs one? is my shoulder good enough for someone to cry on?

i really wish i could do more than just being there for those who are in need.

*sigh*