Tuesday, 23 June 2009

what women want. what women want to hear.

the very moment people say something, what do they actually want to hear in return? what kind of reaction do they expect? for example,if you were to say something like this,

"i'm having a hard time at work"

what kind of reply do you really want to hear from other people? would you want to hear comforting words or would you rather get some solutions to your problem?

men and women are very different in the way of thinking. women naturally want to hear comforting words from their partner. they don't really need the solutions to the problem. all they want to have is someone who can listen to their problems and understand well how they feel.

however, on the other hand, men totally have a different idea. when they tell you something or share some problem, what they really want to hear is the solution. that is exactly the reason why men tend to tell directly to women what they think is right and rational to do, but sadly it only ends up with a fight. just don't be surprised with this kind of situation. (kesian gile...)

men always find it weird when they are told by women that they don't listen well when they thought they have done great enough. (not mentioning with the solutions they have given out.) oh no no no~ men out there, please, you don't have to crack your brains giving out opinions and stuff as what you need to do is nothing else but just to be there and comfort them with some soothing words.

what normally happens:-

w: i am so tired of work nowadays.
m: i think you have been working too hard. try take some holidays. you are entitled to do so, aren't you?
w: but i still have loads to do in the office. i can't just leave the office at times like this.
m: seek help from your colleagues. surely they can give you a hand.
w: they themselves have so many things to finish up.
m: seems like everyone is having a hard time then. get a cup of coffee in the office when you get the chance to do so. hehe
w: you're not listening to a word i say! (widens her eyes and walks away)
m: ...............................haven't i been listening?? (feels surprised and also walks away)

what women really want to hear:-

w: i am so tired of work nowadays.
m: really? any problem in the office lately?
w: i have deadlines to meet and a lot of presentations to do.
m: hurm, it sounds tiring. (gives a sympathetic look)
w: almost everyone is complaining about work these days. we even had to work on saturdays and sundays for the last two weeks.
m: seriously? it doesn't sound fair to the staff. all of you have already worked so hard on weekdays. but don't worry, i guess it won't be for long.
w: yeah, i really hope so.
m: well, you must be tired. since it is no longer office hour, let's get a cup of coffee and relax a bit.
w: sure, why not! thanks for listening anyway! =)

two similar situations, but very different results. well yeah, surely you might think women are a bit difficult to understand. but once you know how, and the right things to say, you might reduce the conflict in your relationship. good luck in trying~ =D

12 comments:

  1. r u reading some sort of a book on relationship wor what?sbb mcm familiar je.."Men are from Mars,Women are from Venus" ?..hahaha

    anyway,not all men are like that ler..maybe bcos those around u are not good listeners,which made u to think dat men don't want to listen to women's problems

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  2. hahaha! not me, but somebody is currently reading the book. we had a very interesting discussion this evening at school and we founnd it rather similar to our own life. true enough that not everyone is like what mentioned above, but it seems that most men are more practical and women always consider feelings while talking.

    and by the way, dont get me wrong. i have loads of great listeners around me and surprise2, most of them are my guy friends! =)

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  3. hmm betul la..in most case..bile aku merungut , aku xnak pmengar ape2 penyelesaian..
    most of the tyme i JUST want to mengadu..n nak org buat muke kesian then i simply rase lega..sebab bile dier buat2 memahami or turut same konon2 merase ape yg aku rase,aku mmg pun rase 'at least somebody's with me' ..x kire laa dier BUAT2 memahami ke ape..

    klu asek dok bagi penyelesaian pun i find myself keep finding excusses for his penyelesaian one after another.<-- Happens all the time kan
    dan akhirnye ends up with arguements.

    the world needs more of listeners la yappari



    oh sekurang2nye kategori yg ske bagi penyelesaian ni better la dari certain guys yg sue buat ayat yg bl;ey dsimpulkn bermaksud 'buat bodo sudah'...bajet cool ke ape wey..

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  4. betul!!! i have always thought about it. though dorg BUAT2 paham ke ape ke, at least it gives me strength and rase gk la dorg kat side kite ;P

    pelik jugak kan nape we always try to find excuses for the solutions given. yela kan, at times, solutions2 tuh mcm kite pun boleh pk sendiri, so what we really want is just a listener.

    eh, haah la... otoko yang suke buat gaya: buat bodo sudah, tu actually mmg kakko tsuke... ape la yg dorng dapat kalau buat camtuh eh... kesian...

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  5. haha got the experiences!!
    solutions vs comforting words, docchi?

    well spoken, nenek!!lol:P

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  6. looks like everyone has the experience huh? hahaha...
    thanks cikun! =)

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  7. afiqah ni mcm mak orang~

    tibe2..

    lari!!!

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  8. oits mala, nasib aku mak orang, bukan mak kucing ke ape! cit!!

    baik ko lari jauh2!!! (-_-:)

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  9. Hmm? I guess you are right. Never thought about it in that manner. Patutlah I quarrel alot with females who complain and moan...I give solutions rather than sympathy!

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  10. hehe, its ok to give out solutions at times. at least the effort to sit and listen to those who are in trouble is more than ample. :)

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  11. I read "Men are from Mars,Women are from Venus" once ..

    But .. but I doubt I learned anything from it since ...... I have no one to apply it on ..

    Oh well .. I dgr you are in a relationship right now... Might as well practice this on your beloved partner .. :P

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    Replies
    1. yeahhh i am! but my partner ni slalu nak ngadu je.. dia xnak i bagi penyelesaian pun :P

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