when we are happy celebrating a new born baby, trust me, at the same time there must be someone at some part of the world is also crying for losing someone, forever.
that is life. no one lives forever.
last 2 days, a birthday reminder from my facebook noted that it's a particular person's birthday. normally i would just wish anyone on my friend's list no matter how close i am with him or her because i know even a random and simple wish can make the person's day.
yes, if i could, i would. except, i couldn't. even if i wrote on the wall, the person just wouldn't get to reply it.
why? because she is no longer in this world. it has been almost a year since this young girl has left us. i feel like i am still in a state of shock because lately there are too many bad news about the lost of people who are dear to some people. and of course, to me.
on the 2nd day of raya, i lost my uncle who was very close to my family. to my parents, he was more of a friend than a mere 'biras' or 'ipar'. i remember during my secondary school, i used to stay at his house during weekends as my family was in kelantan at that time, and he and his family took a really good care of me. he was a successful person and i know he is loved by many people as he is really really generous and kind-hearted.
a few days before ramadhan, a very good friend of my brother was involved in a car accident and he couldn't be saved. it was a shocking piece of news because just a few days before he left us, was his birthday. and also, on the 7th day of syawal, a friend of mine whom i knew during AAJ days died because of an infection of the heart. yes, it broke my heart to hear all these news. not even a hari raya wish or a sorry i could tell them for any of my actions.
these news really make me think. if i were to go tomorrow, am i ready? what kind of things will i be remembered of? will people pray for me? and most of all, my ibadah. is it enough??
i am struggling with myself thinking these scary questions. i really hope only good things will be remembered when i leave. and also, like these late friends of mine, i sure hope people will pray and sedekah al-fatihah for me. anyway, i am taking this opportunity to ask for forgiveness to everyone for my wrongdoings. if i have hurt you in any way, i am truly sorry.
haih~ must be the wind from outside blowing so hard that i suddenly feel so melancholic. =P
and then.... again, there's another birthday reminder i couldn't wish.
al-fatihah to you my dear friend.