Friday, 30 December 2011

Tata 2011~

Heyya~ It's almost 2012! Whoa! I am still reluctant to let this year pass. I have had so much fun and so many life turning experiences this year. This is also the year where I have met new amazing friends and I have been shifting from East to West. ^.^

Since I'm in a mood to reminisce, let me list the happenings from January up till December. 
(WARNING: It might bore you to tears!)

  • Abang Afiq and Syairah visited Japan (SoOo happy!!!)
  • Ayah received an email from Abang Nash (Alhamdulillah!! Can't say it enough)
  • Abang Nash and Kak Nora decided to come to Malaysia for Abang Afiq's wedding (Jumping with joy)
  • Submitted my thesis (YEYYYY!!!)
  • Final year presentation went well!(Alhamdulillah!!! Soo relieved!!)
  • Got a digital photo frame from my batchmates since I was the only one to leave ES1 :')
  • Japan was hit by the biggest earthquake + tsunami (heartbreaking T_T )
  • 2nd visit to Korea. This time with Zzaaa (Burp)
  • Received bad news about the Fukushima Daiichi nuclear... (everyone back home was super worried and wanted me to go back earlier than planned. But, I refused)
  • Ayah and mummy came for my Graduation Day! (Yeehaaa~)
  • Went back to Malaysia with my parents. (*SOBS* Sayounara Nippon T_T)
  • Holiday!!!! (Cuti-cuti Malaysia~~~)
  • Applied for practical
  • Applied for Postgrad course in the UK
  • Recieved unconditional offer from Sheffield, Warwick, Queen Mary University (OVERJOYED!!)
  • Received offer from Manchester University for Nanoelectronics...
  • Started taking my driving class... (Yeah yeah, verrryy late, I know ;p)
  • Ayah's elevation for federal court (Alhamdulillah!!)
  • Started my practical at Istana Budaya!!!! :D
  • Received unconditional offer from King's College London (decided to choose KCL over QMUL)
  • Abang Nash and Kak Nora arrived in KL!! 
  • Preparing for Abang Afiq's wedding (Yey!! New dress!! Hehe)
  • Applied for student visa for the UK and it was accepted within 2 working days. (Alhamdulillah!!!)
  • Abang Afiq got married to Kak Mass and everything went well, Alhamdulillah! (Welcome to the family Kak Mass!!!)
  • Practical students at IB organised  a musical show and I was the only one from Technical Department. (Got the experience to connect the microphones myself.. Hehe)
  • Abang Nash and Kak Nora went back to Holland after a month in Malaysia :'((
  •  Had my driving test on the 2nd day of Ramadan. Fasting, but Alhamdulillah, I got through well!!! Passed with flying colours~~ (YEY!!! I've got my driving license!!!!!)
  • Last day at IB, it was the buka puasa event, so I got to help a bit. And I got a little something from them too. (I'm so going to miss the IB crew and technical staff :') )
  • Got the BIG news about Kak Aini's pregnancy while baking some cookies with my family. (So happy that we cried :') Syukur Alhamdulillah! )
  • I got to fast the whole month! Weheww~ Lucky me!! :D
  • For the first time after so many years, we got to celebrate our Eid together as a family. A bigger family now. :)
  • Came to London. (mixed feeling.. sad, yet thrilled to start a new life :) )
  • 1st Term started and I had made a lot of new great international friends.. 
  • Ayah, Mummy, Abang Nash and Kak Nora came to London. Had a marvelous time, sightseeing together. :)
  • First time experiencing daylight saving on the day the that clocks go back 1 hour. Weheww~ (Got extra 1 hout to sleep... Hahaha)
  •  Got another awesome news, telling that Kak Mass is pregnant too!!! (YEYY~ I'll be a double auntie, InsyaAllah!!! )
  • Went for Nottingham Games. 
  • Had a weird birthday where some friends ditched me. Hahahhaha! Okay, maybe the mobile line was bad... Or birthdays in Kobe were always awesome. Well, we can't get everything, can we ;p (But still thanks to those who wished, gave me presents and Ainaa and friends who made a tupperware of tiramisu for me! :))
  • My 1st term ended.... Winter holiday started (Phew~)
  • Went to Holland to visit my dearest Abang Nash and Kak Nora!! (Grrrreeeatt holiday!)
  • Nadz came down to London. Met some of her friends. (First time on the London Eye, and my first time of Boxing Day! :D)

Well, to sum it up, as far as I can remember, 95% are happy moments. Or maybe even more than 95%. I do hope this coming year of 2012 will be equally as AWESOME or even far better year for me. And all of you!

Happy new year everybody!! :)

p/s: i'm sorry. suddenly the post looks kinda personal. hehe.. can't help it :P

waiting for the clock to strike 12~ :P

Monday, 14 November 2011

a tale of a girl

once upon a time, a little girl who was brought up by a pair of loving parents has been told to love everyone. she has been taught to see the world as a whole, be kind and treat people nicely. her parents and family members make her lead a very happy life thinking that everyone in the world is equally as nice.

when she was in her primary school she was so happy because what her parents told her was true. everyone was innocent and seemed so sweet. when she went to secondary school, she saw the life was becoming a bit rough. but she was still a very happy person. still a lot of nice people can be found.

but her doubt about life increases as she gets older. she feels that it is weird that how can people be less sensible and less sensitive when they get older. she thought people will get more mature and she was expecting more love will be spread around. sadly she only sees weird situations where people who are not bothered with other people's feeling are just increasing.

people without common sense. people who do not keep their promises. people who do just as they like. people who bail on someone. and. so. much. more.

this girl doesn't like it anymore so she just wrote it in her blog.


Thursday, 20 October 2011

that's just awkward~~

Awkward moment or embarrassing moment. You name it. I don't know why when sometimes we have a normal happy chit chat, suddenly the ending part can be a real turn off. From one excited feeling to... booOm! An awkward one.

A lot of things have happened in London but I haven't updated anything yet. Well, not just yet. Too many things to handle especially this weekend. Because of this heavy load, suddenly I have the feeling to just write, yeah, to unwind a bit.

Back to the topic about awkward moment. I am not really good at handling these particular situation. It's like, I get dumbstruck and hope that the moment will just pass by. Let me tell you some situations when I wish my talking partner didn't mention or say those things.

Situation 1:
- There were 3 of us in the kitchen. Talking happily with each other in rather a friendly mode. Asking questions that we thought were relevant, looking at each other preparing our own dinner, until one of the girls left us to skype with her sister. And there was the small sweet looking girl left in the kitchen with me. I was already having my meal in the kitchen (tried to be friendly by eating in the kitchen just to meet my flatmates) while the girl was putting some food in her rice cooker. I started telling her how I was so lazy to start cooking properly. Since I still have the instant food, I should just eat them before they go bad. She was collecting her stuff to bring them back in her room. And before leaving she said to reply to my story, "Oh, yeah! That's why. I was thinking, what ARE you eating?!"


How could she say that!! I was eating something decent okay! Breads with chicken curry!! (Yep, instant chicken curry. Don't stare at me! I can cook curry okayh! It's just that I still don't have a knife to cook...) Anyway, I felt so stupid that I didn't know what to answer. I easily just laughed and looked at her opening and shutting the kitchen door.


Situation 2:
- I was in the Muslim prayer room. Prayed Zohor prayer and rested there to wait for my next class. There was another Malay girl sitting next to me. Feeling so glad to have met another Malay, we talked and talked so much. She's such a sweet girl and seems so friendly. Had so much fun talking that I didn't realise it was almost time to go to class. I knew I had to make my move and said to her, "Okay, I have to go now. Nice meeting you. Will see around yeah! ;) " I zipped up my bag and started to make my move. On the spot she replied and said: "Yeah, See you. And you better buy a new bag sis!"


WHAT??? (For your information, there IS some err MINOR defect to the zipper of my bag. But it is STILL in a good condition. Yeah2, trying to justify myself) Well anyway, shouldn't we have a proper goodbye? SOBSS!! Luckily I like that girl that I didn't really feel like strangling her. Fuh! So I just gave her a light laugh and we exchanged salam.

Well, those are 2 embarrassing situations (for me) at the end of a conversation. Here's another one which top the list. It happened at the early conversation.

Situation 3:
- It was a 20 minutes break for our lecture. A few minutes before class started, one girl who is taking the same module with me entered. I was talking with my friend who was sitting behind me. The girl sat a few seats away from my friend and I can't remember clearly how but suddenly the girl was talking to me. She asked me where I come from. I told her 'Malaysia' and I asked her back. She said, '**********' (censor for safety purposes)' I might have given her a stupid look or something, that she started to explain where her country is. Roughly I got the idea and nodded saying,'Oh! Okay!' And guess what she replied?



HELLO! It's our first encounter! Can't you say something nicer? (And we didn't get to ask each other's name. Thank god our lecturer came back to start the class) Huu~~ But I guess it's alright. Maybe people when they get older, they tend to say everything what they think right from their mind.

*Should I turn into one as well?*

Thursday, 13 October 2011

I want!!!!

i want to be happy 24/7.

i want to have a lot of money and spend them on the things i love.

i want my best friends to always be there.

i want my family to stay with me all the time.

i want my parents to stay with me in london for the whole year.

i want things to go my way!!!

SHOUT to my ears NOW and tell me that it's not going to happen. Hurm~~ Okay, so i asked for the impossible. SIGH!

Err, ok.. One more time. Last one.

I just want to be a good student and live a good life in London and get good results! That's all I'm asking for at the moment.

Does that sound possible enough? ;)

Tuesday, 13 September 2011

Journey to the west.

My last post was in June?? 3 freaking months ago? Haish! How can that be possible? For 5 months of holiday I still can't bring myself to scribble something. Yeah, I am totally annoyed with myself now. T.T

Anyway, everyone seems so attached with facebook and twitter nowadays that I am grateful I can know more about my family and friends better no matter what the real distance among us is. From the looks of it, my friends are or have been busy preparing for their wedding or engagement days. Congrats from me to you dearies!! I am so happy for all of you~

Sadly I am busy for something else. Busy preparing myself to leave the country! Huwaa~~ (bunyi macam kena buang negara lah pulak)

Exactly in 3 days I am leaving on the jet plane to be taken away from my beloved Malaysia. No more east, I am now heading west. InsyaAllah to London for my postgraduate course. Please pray for me that everything is safe and smooth sailing for me.

And most important of all, I pray to Allah to keep my faith to You and to strengthen my Iman. O Allah please guide me to the right path and protect me from any harm. Only to you I seek for help and guidance. Amin!

Bye bye long happy holiday~ Gonna miss this laid back relaxing life. Gonna miss you dear Malaysia, and most definitely, the the heavenly food. ;D


Wednesday, 1 June 2011

say no to self pity

always be strong. always show your positive side. show to others how pleasant and happy life is. sharing good things with people is better than telling the sad stories of yours. of course there is nothing wrong in saying how we truly feel, how high our hope is for our life to get better. but isn't there a lot of other good things happen in our everyday life instead of just SORROW and AGONY?

telling people how sad we are is acceptable once in a while. but again and again whining about how life treats you bad doesn't change anything. at first people might pity you, but if you overdo it, people might get bored and might even think that there is DEFINITELY something wrong with you.

anyway, keep splashing good vibes around you. smile more. live life to the fullest and be appreciative in everything that we have. remember, no matter how difficult our life is, there are still people who are dying and struggling to even breathe some fresh air.

so, lets us all delete these few words:

sick, pain, die, heartache, loser, trouble, bad news, sadness etc2...

say UGHhhhh to these words!!!


Sunday, 8 May 2011

i have my parents by my side

i am the luckiest person on earth...

i am THE luckiest person on earth...

i AM the luckiest person on earth....

i definitely AM the LUCKIEST person on earth!!

oh what the heck. i love saying it so many many many times in different intonation and different ways. as i do believe that! =))

i have 2 main reasons for saying that.

one, i have the greatest father in the whole world.
number two, i have the greatest mother in the whole world.

everyone is celebrating mothers day, but my family has a double celebration today. as well as it is Mother's Day, it is also my father's Birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! =))

to my ever coolest ayah, you definitely are my dad, my teacher, my entertainer, my best friend and always always, my hero.

to my ever charming mummy, you are of course, my mother, my sunshine, my doctor, my shopping partner, and always always my role model.

the both of you are my life. my soul. my EVERYTHING!!! you mean the world to me...

i love you sooOo soOo much! only God knows how much i love the both of you. i can't imagine living without you. please, never ever abandon your child here, as i am still and always be a kid when i am next to you. ALWAYS!

so, here goes my wish to the both of u:


may Allah bless you with eternal happiness, health, love and everything good that can ever be received.

again and again....



Thursday, 5 May 2011

where can i find such place?

i wish to have a secret hideout to let out any disturbed feelings.
any negative feelings that can't be shared with anyone else.

i feel like going on top of a hill and just scream out loud.
where no one can hear. where no one can get hurt.

but i am still here. on a chair. in front of my laptop.

and nothing changes. nothing ever can change if no action is taken.

i am still here. keeping my mouth shut. but no desire to let it out.

Friday, 22 April 2011


I always wish I could express myself better. I don't understand why it is so hard for me to show the kind of things that I like, especially when I mix with other people. As a result of that, I always end up doing what other people prefer to do. Even I don't really like it, I tend to just say yes, and follow suit.


Maybe I am just the type of person who doesn't really know what I like and what I really want. It is also much easier to adapt with others' liking rather than to convince people around me that what I like is so much better. Whenever I try to voice an opinion on where to go, or what to do, it always sounds lame to other people's ear. Probably. That's what I think. That's why I surrender easily and just let them be happy.

It is also very rare to see what people really know about me that it always makes me feel so touched whenever there is any. They might know I am a person of thousand words, never stop talking, yadaa yadaa, but I don't think they really know what kind of things I like. For instance, my favourite food, favourite band, favourite TV show, my ideal spot for holiday and so much more.

Besides that, I also realise that I sometimes convey the wrong message to other people. I really hate it when people misunderstand my true intention. When I actually want to praise somebody, people think I am actually being sarcastic. Was it just my tone or people tend to judge I am just a sarcastic person? When I try to tell a story, people also tend to make it into a bad thing. I don't know anymore. Maybe I am just a talkative person, but not really good in conveying.

Okay, enough rambling. Maybe I would delete this post once I feel a lot better, or when I am much better in expressing myself! daa~

P/S: sorry for those people who take time to read this unmeaningful post!

Wednesday, 13 April 2011

unconditional love

i wish i could learn not to love something or someone too much. i have always been so attached to something that it always tears my heart each time i have to be apart with it. though i rarely show my feelings and always appear positively alright, but deep down only God knows how hard i try to persuade myself that everything is going to be okay.

on my last day at high school, i remember well enough how empty my heart was. neither the bright shining sun nor the loud playing songs could lift up my spirit. just the thought of being away from my friends whom i have been living with for 5 whole years, made my heart sink. of course it was hard to say goodbye as we practically shared almost everything as it was a boarding school. for us girls, we lived under the same roof, we shared the same toilet and sometimes we even shared the same bed. (T__T) so, yeah, u got it. it was just a sad day for everyone.

us, having lunch at the dining hall

resting under the big tree when no one was around. yeah, only the form 5 students left.

our final goodbye. (Oops, soOo sorry girls, our faces were #$%&$% HAHAHAH)

somehow i thought i have learned a lesson on not to be so attached with the people around, but i don't seem to get it quite right. i must have spent so much time with the Kobeians i guess. to think again about it, well, sure enough i have done almost everything with them. hanging out together almost every weekend, having sleepovers and of course, 'makan-makan', which has always been a tradition even before i came to Kobe. we have always reminded ourselves that we are one big family, as we only have each other especially when our real family is far far away across the oceans.

my house warming

preparation to break our fast during Ramadan

our hari raya, picture taken at Kobe University

my last day in Japan. 30th March 2011. thanks all. love you all to pieces.

with the Kobeians i can actually understand quite well, but what surprises me is that i feel equally as sad to leave my labmates. i have spent time with them for only a few months. not even a year. if it were 2010, today would be my first time meeting my labmates and senseis. yes, exactly a year ago, i met these charming people of ES1 (the name of my lab) and ever since that day my days were full of music. again, i got attached. with this group of great people, i just couldn't help it.

the first time we went for bowling together

a dinner with my batchmates

our graduation day =)

the only picture i have with my beloved Sensei. no words can describe how thankful i am to have you as my sensei. Thank you so much sensei for all the support you have given me.

on my last day stepping out of the lab after saying goodbye to my seniors, i got this shaky feeling inside. my eyes felt kinda hot. i can't remember whether they were watery or not, but what i knew at that time was my life is just not going to be the same again. no more lab visits daily. no more tip toeing into the lab each time i go during weekends and see someone is asleep on the couch, no more early and long lunch breaks with my batchmates, no more concern questions from my beloved senior on my work, no more teasing voices and ....... haih ..... i guess that's going to be my last encounter with Japanese people. T___T

today is also the 2nd week i am in Malaysia. no matter how tough it is to be separated with those across the oceans, it still feels good to be here. to where my heart always belongs to. to where my family is.

the place where i call home.

as we exited KLIA. (it should have said, welcome home afiqah! but oh well, this is good enough.)

guess what i found on my bed when i first stepped in my bedroom! definitely a pleasant surprise.

and something i really miss having: a family dinner =)

seems like this is my full time commitment from now on. to think of it again, it's never a crime to be attached with something, right?

especially with your own family. give them your unconditional love! =)

Thursday, 17 March 2011

Gambare Nippon!

it has been quite awhile since i last updated my blog. my initial plan was to write on my final year presentation, my holidays and my future plans after i get my scroll. only happy stories crossed my mind at that time.

but everything changed the moment Japan was struck by the most powerful earthquake which was followed by the disastrous tsunami. and now, everyone is worried about the radioactive leaks in Fukushima. it happens too fast, that it seems all like a dream. more like a scary nightmare actually.

though i am in Kobe and still too far away from the affected areas, i can still feel the pain for those who are involved in this catastrophe. the day it happened, all the channels had nothing else on air except news updating on the current situation. up till today, it has been the headline on the television and also in the papers.

however, i am really amazed by the Japanese attitude towards this problem. we always see how people normally just cry over their loss and wait for brighter days to come. but it is a different story here whereby everyone is really positive and very efficient in handling problems. they seem really calm though we know how much they suffer and want to cry because of this nightmare. but they do not give up, stand tall and keep on doing their best to make everything better for everyone.

a lot of touching and heart moving stories i have read on the net. try clicking here and you will definitely know what i mean. on the television, no more advertisement on shampoos, biscuits etc2, but messages on people relationship are shown to remind everyone in Japan. one of best the quotes from the commercial is:


no one can see our 'heart', but 'concern' can be seen. 'thought' can't be seen, but everyone can see 'thoughtfulness'.

everyone is doing everything that is possible to support and to help one another. the Japanese government is doing their best for everyone in Japan. while everyone else in the world only sees the disastrous side of Japan, i am glad i can see the beauty and the warm side of the Japanese people. they are strong people and always accept whatever happen to them. they don't know the meaning of surrender. just like a Japanese old man who was saved 42 hours after the tsunami said with a smile, "let's rebuild".

with strong will and determination like this, i believe they can make it through, insyaAllah. i hope everyone can learn something from the Japanese people. everytime we feel like something is not on our side, quit complaining, find our way to do our best and pray hard to achieve the best result. for us Muslims, after giving our best, leave it to Allah. InsyaAllah, with God's will, we will get what we want.

I really hope that everyone in the world no matter what religion we are, please put our heart together and pray for Japan. pray for their safety and hope that everything gets back to normal. I just love Japan more and more everytime i watch their spirit and determination that it makes it even harder for me to leave this country for good. but no matter where I am later, I will never forget what this country has done to me. Thank you Japan for the knowledge, the experience, the never ending lovely days I always lead day by day here. You all will always be in my prayers.

I love you Nihon! Gambare Nippon!

lastly, here's a song InsyaAllah by MaherZain. such a calm song and it makes me feel more relaxed everytime listening to the lyrics. =)

Tuesday, 8 February 2011

presents!!! i love you!!!

i have met someone who hates presents.

ok, that's a lie.

i have never met anyone who hates presents.

ok, now, that's a fact.

i just received a lovely present from my beloved juniors a few days ago, that i feel so excited to blog about it. it's hard to buy presents for people, but it doesn't seem that difficult for my beloved friends to find one for me.

the keyword in getting a present for someone is actually:

being observant.

yeah, just be aware of the person's life, and you'll definitely know what to get them.

but oh well, you see, actually i'm not choosy. you can just get anything for me. you don't have to wait for my birthday to give me presents. it's ok~~ anytime will do. seriously!

so~~~~ in that case..... i'll be waiting~~~ =D

anyway, here's another vlog on presents! =)

Thursday, 3 February 2011

of holidays, final year project and chinese new year wish! =)

please be patient with my stupid video here. i did this on tuesday. and please pardon my malayish english and grammar mistakes. hahha!

a bit late though, but yeah... better late than never! happy chinese new year people!! =)

Tuesday, 1 February 2011

what now? vlogging maybe? =P

no more zemi for this year!!!! yey yey yey!!!! who cares how i presented just now. who cares how the 5 of us got a long lecture by our lecturer because we started the zemi 1 minute and a half late. yeah yeah, who cares right! what we care is that we are just a few days away from freedom.

i think i might suggest my labmates to put a countdown chart on the door. so that they are aware of how many days left for them to be nice to a lovely malay girl in the lab. hurm..... seriously i might as well do that. (things to bring to bring to lab the day after tomorrow: kalendar ngan paku tekan. huh? what happen to tomorrow? of course ponteng! =P)

anyway, it's great to see the sun is finally shining brightly again.
also the stars and moon shine brighter at night.

well, i guess they shine equally as bright, it's only me who didn't really realise it. blame all the work and stress. afiqah the nature lover wasn't aware of the surrounding these past few weeks.

tsk... so sad...

3 nature lovers gazing at the sky

anyway, enough babbling. i need to find something worthwhile doing. other than eating.

okay, since people nowadays like to....

VLOG=video blog...

i might try that out. should i?? hahahah!!lets see if i have the talent to do so.. LOL

now, time to find the camera :D

Friday, 28 January 2011


today i turn 22years 2 months and 2 days old. why don't i wait till the 22nd day? well, simply....because it is just difficult to count. :P

anyway there is nothing significant to this day actually. i just feel like updating my blog, and updating means, i have so much free time on my hands.

really? hahah! well, that is not exactly true, as i still have one last presentation to go before my final BIG presentation on the last day of february. but oh well, since i have passed up my thesis to my lecturer, i guess i can now at least take a deep breath and relax a bit. :)


i was really thinking of relaxing. but something made my heart stop for a moment. earthquake.
yeah, just a few minutes ago while i was in the middle of writing this post, it happened. it really has been awhile since my last experience with earthquake which you can read it here. compared to last time, this one wasn't so bad. but it was still, quite shocking. >.<

*inhale* *exhale*

and now i am just grateful i can live up till now. hope i can live longer.

longer than just 22 years 2 months and 2 days old.

Monday, 17 January 2011



well, that has been my status on ym since my 1st day i entered the lab. since i keep forgetting to sign out from my email or to change the status whenever i am NOT at lab, people always get the idea that i spend my whole 24hours at lab. okay people, that is soOo not true. i have life too you know!

however, to tell the truth, i seriously don't mind spending most of my time at my lab. well, besides getting to save the electric bills etc (yeah, i am a cheapskate! ;P) i find it's relaxing just to be there. it's like the perfect hideout for me whenever i feel like getting away for awhile from a stressful moment. well, not that i have something to get stressed about, but i just love doing my work from my desktop at the table, with the additional aroma of coffee my seniors love to make, and listening to the chit chatting voices of my labmates which most of the conversations are funny.

working with them is an experience i have never felt before as they are truly helpful lot especially my senior who has been cracking his head most of the time for me. like i have told my brother, 95% of my success story actually comes from my senior, and the remaining 5% is probably my own hard work. (is there really any??)

yeah, i'm such a spoiled junior. i know.... T.T

realising that i only have a few more months to spend with my labmates, i actually feel rather sad. i don't know how i will act on my last day at school later. i know quite well that it would be hard for me to meet them again once i have gone back to Malaysia for good. not only that, i guess this would probably be the last chance for me to have fun and feel at ease with japanese people.

so, what about.....working in a japanese company?

hurmmmmmm.... i don't think i can classify that as FUN. at least not a single Malaysian has survived long enough with a broad smile working with them. hoho... i don't know how my future will turn out to be. i REALLY have no idea~~ for now, all i have to focus is to finish up my thesis and, looking for a university to continue my masters.

and for now, let me enjoy my few last days @LAB! =)

me, so not doing my work at my beloved lab =P