Thursday, 5 January 2012

Respect others first if you want to gain respect

You don't have to own a newspaper company. You don't have to be a radio deejay. You don't have to go all out to spread some news. Petty news especially. Just click log in, and go into your twitter or facebook account. Tell the world and spread the juicy gossips you might think of. Even 'better' if you have some eye-catching pictures to support your stories. 

How lame can people nowadays be?

I am quite sure we are busy with our own lives, (that what we ALWAYS say to other people : busy busy busy, not enough time etc) but how come people still manage to butt in other people's business? Especially the bad ones. Just look at ourselves. Are we good enough, are we perfect enough to talk bad about other people? Shouldn't we feel ashamed of talking about other people, especially about people whom we are not even connected to. Whom we haven't even spoken or met face to face at all. Do not judge people from how they look. It just shows how shallow we are.

YEAH, SURE you may come from the same country and all, and feel like it is your duty to to tell off the people who you think have gone out of track. BUT!! There is a proper way in giving advice. Even in Islam we are taught to be pleasant. Be nice and think before we say something. Do not say anything unless we are sure of something because if we say something wrong, it can be categorised as FITNAH (defame). Be careful when we speak even when the news is true.

The Prophet (pbuh) defined backbiting when he said:  "Do you know what is meant by backbiting?" They said, "Allah and His Messenger know best." He said, "To say something about your brother which he dislikes." One asked, "Even if what I say is true about my brother?" He replied, "If such defects you say are true about him, then you have backbitten him, and if he doesn't have what you say, then you have committed slander against him." 

(Related by Muslim, Abu Dawood, and Tirmidhi)

Hence, it is not allowed to talk about somebody in his/her absence, even if what was narrated was true. If it was not true, then it would be a bigger sin and it is called Buhtan (false accusation). 

I am really disturbed to see the way people try to 'change' other people by giving advice by improper ways. What I mean by improper here is by condemning, saying nasty words and get angry. IF we really have the intention to give good advice, we should do the right way. Tell the people directly and NOT talk behind their back. That's the stupidest way ever, seriously. And if you don't have the opportunity to meet or drop some sincere advices to them, just pray for them. Do it the right way.

Remember, if we want to gain respect, we HAVE to start by respecting others. 

I remember my trip to Amsterdam where I stopped by at a mosque for evening prayes. I wasn't sure the wudhu (ablution) place for ladies, so I randomly went into the toilet and wudhu place for men. My brother and sister-in-law were waiting for me outside just in case anyone (particularly men) wanted to enter. When I wanted to perform my wudhu, I heard some noise outside. Hurriedly I did what was necessary and stepped out. I saw a few guys were waiting outside and some of them (probably one or more) were half yelling because they wanted to use the room. Poor my sister-in-law trying to explain things to them. I am not quite sure whether they were talking in Dutch or Arabic or both (or neither) but I felt so disappointed as it was a mosque. A place where we perform our prayers and it is where we should be nice to each other. 

Everybody makes mistakes, but try telling them in a good way. In a nicer way. Not by showing anger and yelling. If some non- Muslims enter the mosque and see such scenario, they will really get the wrong idea about Islam. How can we tell others that Islam is a religion of peace when we can't promote peace. *sigh*

So~~ people! Start your new year by being a better person. Only then, you will get the respect from others. This is a reminder for me as well.

 Yesss, let's start by saying... I am.... going to be a better person. InsyaAllah! ;)