Saturday, 28 February 2015

Life-changing decisions

We are bound to make decisions every single day.

Questions we ask ourselves everyday may include, "which route shall I take to avoid the heavy traffic?" or even as simple as, "what shall I eat today?" No matter how big or small an issue is, we still have to make the decision so that our life moves smoothly.

Some things can easily be decided on our own without any help from people around. 

However, there are also things which require more time before a particular decision is made. Usually those are the life-changing decisions which need more attention and discussions with other people to make us feel confident enough with the option we might take.

These life-changing decisions are usually related to job offers and marriage proposals (mainly for ladies). Things get even harder when geographical changes are involved. If a person gets a particular job offer that the person has been working very hard for, plus the pay is very high, the only thing that might stop him/her from taking the offer, is usually the geographical factor. The one thing that might be at the back of one's mind is usually about the people he/she is leaving behind.

If the office of the new job is just a few blocks away, then it is not such a big problem. It becomes a problem when the new job offered is in a different state, or much worse, in a different country which has a totally different culture.

Similarly, this also applies to choosing a life partner. Geographical factor seems to be a very big issue to some. I have seen some very controlling  parents who do not allow their children to get married to people from some states. As I have mentioned above, this is more of a problem for ladies as ladies are expected to follow the future husbands wherever they might be. It will be easier though if the guy does not mind to settle down at where the girl comes from.

But to me, 2 people from different states getting married is never an issue. A girl usually starts to get confused when she gets a marriage proposal from a guy from a different country. Now that's something to ponder upon. To the girl, not only the people that she might leave behind is bothering her mind, but does the sacrifice she's taking is worth it? Will there be any regret, or indeed by saying 'yes' is the path to her happiness?

There is only one conclusion I can think of. It is our LOVE towards the matter is the one that counts.

If the person being offered the new job (in another or even the same country) is sure enough that the particular job is what he/she loves to do, no matter how different the culture of the people around, he/she will still be happy with the decision made and the difficulties are only seen as challenges in life. 

Similarly, if the person being proposed to is sure enough that the person who proposed her is definitely THE one for her, she should be ever ready and willing to move to another place and lead a new life. Things might be a bit different at the beginning but with some effort, things shall be easier in the long run. InsyaAllah...




But of course, before making any decision, never forget HIM in our calculation. Pray to Allah as Allah is the all knowing... InsyaAllah what ever decision we make, it will be made easier for us.




Masjid Nabawi, Madinah 

Wednesday, 4 February 2015

No one else

No matter how much you trust someone or how much you think someone really cares about you, you can never put 100% responsibility on that person. One can only give suggestions and pray that you do the right thing. But asking a person what the right thing to do is like asking that person to take over your life, when he or she has a life of his or her own.

We can always think that our life is that important and if we have a problem, our trusted people should drop other things and lend their ears to our stories. However, we shouldn't forget how others have their lives to run too. They too have problems that they themselves can't solve easily.

Always be prepared to realise that somehow we live as one person. One person that leads a life. A life that is important to only ourselves. Putting high hopes on others to solve anything we have is not a good move.

Yes, we can share our problems to others. Yes, we can pour our feelings to people. But never, expect much in return. After all, it's us who make the decision. It's us who run that particular life. Not anyone else.