Monday, 24 August 2015

Let it go for real

One of the posts that I have in my draft is entitled 'Strangers Again.' Somehow I couldn't bring myself to publish it, neither could I finish the entry, to be honest. It has been in my draft for a few months already.

I do understand that sometimes we are reminded of our past unconsciously. When we walk pass an area that we are quite used to visit, when we listen to songs that we once played over and over again, or due to any other occurrences that might transport ourselves to the past.

To be fair, I am reminded of my past quite frequently and that heart twinging feeling occurs quite often. However, I can't find a good reason for me to talk about it to other people, so I somehow just write somewhere that only I have access to it.

I feel that I rather not burden anybody else with any history that I have. Though I have no problem opening up if people ask me directly or sincerely want to know about it as I think it is better to know things like this directly from me rather than to get the source from a third party.

Somehow, isn't it weird if we keep mentioning of our past rather than living in the present?

Don't blame people if they think you are weird of not letting go of your past. Everybody has their own old stories. Whether the old stories are to be kept or to be shared is one's choice. I just feel that only when the time is right, the stories might be brought up.

And only, if it is to the interest or for the benefit of the listeners.

Gambar sekadar hiasan :p

Saturday, 15 August 2015


Some people when they are tired they are easily agitated. Even nothing can turn into something. Even when u are smiling they might see like u are scowling. Which ever way, let them eat first. Or else, u might be eaten instead.

Famous phrase: A hungry man is an angry man.


Sunday, 9 August 2015

Frankly Speaking

I used to be a very straightforward kind of person. Never did i have a problem telling people off when i was not in agreement with something. Sometimes i even had to remind myself that i need to be a bit softer or probably dilute my frankness to a certain degree just to make sure i didn't hurt the other party. Everytime i come clean on my real feeling, somehow i feel good. I feel relieved. Nothing to hide nothing to hold back.

However, now that i am a bit older i find that being straightforward is not really a good thing. I tend to curb my feelings and just go with the flow. And in the process, i die inside. Bit by bit.

For example, as i am the youngest in the family, i find it disrespectful to lash out any anger or disappointment to older people. However, as I myself still am struggling with my anger management, i just pray that i can be better with age. Specifically, for me to be more patient.

Sometimes i don't want to say the wrong things to people who are older than me, so i guess it is easier to just stay away and have less communication with them. People don't understand my struggle of not wanting to appear rude that i tend to be a bit subdued at times. I know my weakness i.e. saying the wrong things when i am angry. Hence, nowadays, if i am in a crowd and i am somehow not in agreement with something, i may not say i agree, but at the same time will also not say that i disagree. Which sadly, may still offend some people.

Another thing is being a person under someone. For example, an employee to his or her employer, i find that it is also not an option for us employees to go against the employer. Even if the employer does have a different idea which is not logical, employees can't say straightforwardly that the employer is stupid. Can we? Hence, playing around with words and saying yes at that moment is the only thing the employee can do.

The third case is when we have no idea who we are to a person. Sometimes we really have the urge to give an idea or show our care to another person, but we hold it back. Why? Because we might think that, "why should i say this to him/her? I am probably not even considered as a close friend. I am not family.  I am not his spouse. Why should i bother?" Although in our hearts, we feel like shouting that idea.

This non straightforward approach is somehow killing me. I would like to say what i think. I would like to have the freedom to say something.


At the end of the day, having a good relationship with people is what matters most. Oh well, it is still not the end of the world. Don't we all have The Almighty to listen to every problem we have? ;)

Bring me to the seaside. So i can put everything aside. :p