Sometimes i don't understand. I rarely want to compete with people. Though when i do, i am very competitive. Usually it involves competitions or exams when you obviously need to switch on your competitive mode.
However, in just everyday life, i see nothing that appeals to me to become a competitive person. I don't see the need to compete in getting people's love and attention, i don't see the need to compete in winning people's heart, i don't see the need to compete in showing how nice and likeable i am to people around me.
I am basically happy with myself, my circle of people, my beliefs and where i am. I don't need people's assurance of what i should and shouldn't do in becoming a model stereotype lady.
I sincerely can't see what is there in me that people need to be so jealous about to actually compete with whatever i do. I am just being myself. Loud, annoying, sometimes chatty (or overly chatty..depends on how people see it really :p), easily agitated, too frank, not ladylike enough and many other not-so-wife-to-be-material characteristics.
Despite being all that, i am veryyy grateful to have people liking me for who i am. I don't ask everyone around to like me. There is no such thing, is there? Hence, when i have a friend who is always acting sweet in front of others but finding fault in me each time and not exactly that sweet towards me, as if trying to show that she is better off than me, i kinda feel weird.
What are you trying to prove actually Missie? Why are you always not happy with what i do and forever trying to show that you are always better in every single thing you do or have? Yes i might be annoying, but i don't bother you, do i? Can't you just be happy for me once in a while?
Oh well...it's my birthday today and somehow that person's real self has been reflected clearly today. Though my sister always says, that she has seen that side of this friend of mine since long time ago.
Anyway, happy birthday to me. I love everyone around me who takes me for who i am. Also, thanks for the lovely wishes people! I feel loved ♡ hehe..
P/s: i miss my partner so much :( i wonder how you are doing there...