Saturday, 6 May 2017

Keep calm and move on


They are indeed important. But i can't agree more with my dad when he says that "Don't try to be popular with your friends. At the end of the day family is all that you have."

As my age increases, I very much understand how right he is. Friends who then promised to be there through your thick and thin, will sooner or later drift away. Especially once they have their own small family unit, they are bound to be 'missing' from your life.

I have a very very close friend of mine whom I could call a sister when I was in secondary school. We got so close that my family members knew her well and treated her just like family. When we left school, we still kept in touch and promised to keep each other updated with life.

However, something must have happened on her side which I have no idea till now as to why she didn't pick up my phone anymore. As to why she didn't care to be a friend anymore. I remember that I kept trying to reach her through many ways, but it lead to nowhere. To the point that some of my family members asked me to move on.

To move on from that friendship.

One day she finally contacted me via email. Saying that she's alright and she couldn't get any better friend than me. She said she couldn't tell me the reason why, but she would always watch my progress from afar.

And in that email, she told me that she was about to get married.

I didn't know what to feel. Relief. Disappointed. Happy. All in one emotion. I was relief and happy that she finally responded to my effort. And disappointed that she couldn't trust me with her secret. Another side is also, I was a bit upset that she didn't invite me to her wedding. Even in that email. (Maybe she was indirectly inviting me by telling me the news? I'm not sure.)

That was the last email I received from her. Which was in 2009. And a few weeks later after the email, I got to know from my other friend that she finally got married. I'm happy for her for getting married to a good religious guy whom she had been telling me about since I knew her, but at the same time, I was so disappointed that our old dreams were not realised.

The younger us always laughed off at the thought of who would get married first. We dreamt of being each other's pengapit during our big days. And it turned out, I was not there for her during her wedding, and she did not reply to my wedding invitation.

My mom however, since many years ago that my friend got missing, asked me to think positively. She said she knows that she is a very kind hearted girl and there must be a pretty good reason of her doing that.

Seriously speaking, i have. I have tried to think of only the good things. But you know what? I am just a human being. I still somehow up till today wonder what ever has happened.

And to be honest, she frequently visits my dreams and in those dreams, I wish she could tell me the reason behind her act. And in some dreams, we were already in talking terms and I couldn't be happier.

But of course, those are just unreal.

Today, everytime I see a friend that has 'gone' away from my life, I just wish quietly in my heart,and I pray that they are doing well. Even if I do miss their presence in my life once in a while, it is good enough to know that they have no hatred towards me.

Things might not be the same between me and them anymore, but now I guess I am more open to accept that I am happy enough to at least have some good memories with them.

So in this lengthy post, I just want to wish thank you to my true friends who really keep me in your life till this day. You all whom I need not try to be popular or try hard to win your hearts. I am blessed to have you guys around.

Yang jauh kat Terengganu, kat Kuala Selangor, Klang, Sijangkang, dan mana2 yang rajin contact tak kiralah whatsapp ke apa, sayang korang sangat2. :)

And to my family and dearest hubby, you guys make me realise that even if my friends unintentionally have somehow drifted away from my life, my quality of life is nothing less than great.

Oh wow.. I really love my family to the moon and back. :)

Unrelated picture: Lake Garden in KL, my newly found favourite spot :P


  1. Holla .. Im your friend from Kuching.

    Im glad to be your friend. :)

    1. Hola! I thought i only have a husband from kuching :p

      Nice knowing u too! :)